I think I need to say something here about the Boomer comment. I was pointing out my parents generation and how some of them have been caught up in TikTok misinformation. I surely met no disrespect. The best Resistors I know are women in their 60s and 70s. They fought this battle in one. And we have lost it. Solidarity.
It’s so hard to get past the rage, the incredulity that women, correction: white women, have done this AGAIN. The same women with the temerity to now peek around their bubble to tell me that I need to understand that I’ve been fed lies and that everything is going to be okay and I need to stop overreacting.
I am not overreacting, nor do I appreciate their chastising me (utilizing the very tropes with which men have tethered them) as though I am a misguided child in need of correction. They can bless their own goddam hearts while I temper my rage with actions, however small they may be.
Thank you for sharing your experiences. It’s important and powerful. I’ll be the grey-haired white gal in NH with a pocketful of sand at the ready. We are not powerless unless and until we give up.
I is HARD to get past the rage. White women prefer their whiteness over their femaleness, and then wonder why women have it so hard.
They are going to find themselves and their loved ones in a world of hurt in the coming months. I will not have any sympathy to spare for them when the horrors they voted for come into reality.
The problem was not the candidate or her campaign. 1)It was the millions who decided not to vote like this was some normal election. 2) It was the pure old downhard meanness, racism, and stupidity of the majority of people who voted in this election. 3)Yes, it really is stupidity and meanness, marinated in right wing media lies. Someone far smarter than I am will have to come up with some ideas. I’m 71, and the world works differently than it did.
“White women prefer their whiteness over their femaleness, and then wonder why women have it so hard.”
I agree with everything you’ve said. I’m 61 in one of the whitest states in the country and I haven’t earned the right to sit it out. We can all find our way to push back. You use your words extremely well. There’s a lot of power in that.
Is it their whiteness or their grooming? Please reread Barbies speech. Being repeatedly told that you only have value if you are a good obedient wife and an always sacrificing mother really messes with girls/women’s heads, Woman only have value only when sacrificing? they should find meaning in jobs as vocations, they shouldn’t compete for money? Being the breadwinner is a man’s job? I don’t care how far we have come, these are deep lessons that sit in our unconscious, When I was working as a nurse, we were the medical center for the college students, We had many girls coming in with anal tears. When discussing how this happened, they said they wanted to remain virgins for their wedding night,:but boy friends pressured them into anal sex. I counseled that they should never agree to anything they really didn’t want to do, but if they did want to consider anal sex, both participants should learn how to do it right before experimenting. They need to know they have the right to say stop if anything hurts. Most of these girls didn’t know they had the right to say they didn’t want to try, or if they did, to expect that they should both find out how to make it enjoyable for both, or that they could say stop. They, almost 100%, felt that they were supposed to take care of the needs of their boyfriend, and did not recognize that their needs were equally as valid. Thing to think about?
Does it really matter? There will always be people who do what they’re told or whatever everyone around them does. Or whatever pleases a man (boyfriend, husband, Trump). Cultural conditioning or because humans are social creatures and follow social cues, unless some stronger need/voice pushes against the prevailing winds. Understandable, but I personally don’t have any extra worry energy for them.
I don’t have any answers. For me, grounding myself and strengthening my personal community of people who share similar values. We (Dems, presidential election) spent a LOT of money and that bothers me. It was ineffective but also, my god, so wasteful and so self-sustaining! How many careers and corporations are propped up by this endless, super-bowl-like extravaganza? There has to be a better way
I've noticed that now that the election is over. And conceded...that there are tons of political messages on Instagram, etc. Way more and more constantly than before Nov 5th.
I'm wondering if it was decided by the higher-ups in the business, to not run them in a timely manner. thus a slanted source... And run them afterwards, so they can keep the $.
And their sons over their daughters. Which I learned from the mother who gave me up as a toddler and decades later berated the boy she kept with the phrase “I have too much invested in you” was thrown out at him. I did finally give up the decades of hope I had for a mother’s love.
Her whiteness paid for her to have a pretty comfortable life with lots of perks. That emptiness was her choice.
Unfortunately, though they may find themselves in a world of hurt, many will never accept the facts about why. They will go to their deaths revering their Dear Leader and consuming the shit they are fed as though it is Mana. Apparently that is preferable to ever admitting they were wrong.
neck-and-neck with "half the country did X" (none of the numbers justify this meme), this is consuming way too much oxygen where i am internet-treading recently: FAFO is punchy shorthand but "find out" is not what is even remotely likely to happen, as you indicate - the phrase implies awareness, and anyone who was bamboozled into voting GOP this time around doesn't have stellar chances of waking up to any factual chain of causality just because Bad Economic Things [are going to] happen under Trump's second 'watch'.
... even shorthand like "actions have consequences" falls flat when awareness of and around the consequences is so fucking benighted.
I was saying to my son when he relished the thought of them getting their comeuppances. They would only blame us Dems for any hurt they suffer. When their "sweeping changes" can't happen with the incompetence of their new administration (yes I am aware there will bad things happen) they will throw it back at us saying we were worried for nothing.
It is misogyny. Woman-hating. Our country is excellent at it, and most women (no, I am not cutting POC a break here) have supported it. It's what they want: cruelty and barbarity against the "other," except that nobody's thought things through and realized that the "other" will be them when the ordinary victims run out.
I came from a family where women were loved, not hated. My maternal grandmother was one of the first female Coloradans to earn a PhD. Both of her daughters were PhDs, and had good careers. My mother was a terrific mother, something I didn't fully realize until--a nearly two decades after she died--I wrote a story about a walk we took when I was not quite three, and she did something that irritated the crap out of my toddler self. She started walking backwards. My memory of her walking backwards is still quite vivid, nearly 70 years later, and as I wrote, I started asking myself, what was she thinking? What was she trying to do? Well, like I said, she was a terrific mother. And her sister was an amazing character. Their mother, alas, died long before I was born.
I honestly only know a few of them and they are not in my circle anymore. All of my white senior boomer friends were on board for Harris. It is hard to even understand these women who voted for the adjudicated rapist. I don't know any because the few I dumped chose not to even vote and never have. Another demographic I am appalled about.
I'm 66 and I feel the same. I don't know how we can possibly break through all the lies, privilege, fear of others and self centeredness. When the opposing party cheats and lies and had no moral compass, how does a party of integrity counter them???
I think we ned to realize how much our culture, our religions, our language etc reinforces the idea that women are inferior, are here to serve man, and gain their sense of self worth from being good at these roles. woman are trapped in this dilemma. Why do you think so many tolerate or return to the abusive partner? Trump is the abusive spouse that many have forgiven and taken back thinking it will be different, but those of us who have escaped this grooming know he won’t be any different, We need to temper our rage with tolerance and keep setting the example of what we want this country to be, But feeling the rage first is always an important step.
A pocketful of ammunition might be more useful than sand. I am tired of women being beaten and tortured and shot without consequences. From a woman in her pajamas to a woman sleeping to a woman cornered in a garage by an enraged male, we get blown away by men "fearing for their lives." Throw your sand and wail to your god in the same churches that see us as chattel. See how much good it does us.
I guess then some of us will be the sacrificial wall allowing you to "throw your sand." Chant some stuff about samsara and toss some mandalas around. We all saw how well that worked out for Tibet. Stop wasting our time withe same useless "resistance." Pussy hats = "sand". It's time to get serious, yet even those of us who aren't Trumper ballerinas are still playing stupid games while women bleed out in parking lots or die of sepsis while doctors and nurses smirk.
I’m not fighting with you. You do you. We don’t have to do everything one person’s way to get shit done. Stay mad. I’m mad too. I’m just not mad at you.
As an old lady who'd run through this before, all I can think of is that protest sign that says, "I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVE TO DO THIS ALL AGAIN." Such a sign might get us shot now.
We know that J.D. Vance thinks us old women are useless except for free childcare. We know that the mantra of Trump is "your body, my choice, forever." If you realize that that this idea makes you essentially disposable -- it will take a year or so before they really kick it in -- hold on to your passport and be ready to use it.
In WaPo, Alexandra Petri wrote a great piece about this very thing. She used the example of Sysiphus pushing the stone uphill again and again! I've unsubscribed from WaPo, but hasn't run out yet.
Thank you for the links. And as for the WaPo cancellation, it was just due. I initially renewed for a lower annual fee, begrudgingly, but put in the cancel order as soon as Bezos killed the Harris endorsement.
I was mulling my decision regarding canceling. Then Bezos published his shitty "justification" of his reason not to endorse. Total BS and so pompous and entitled sounding!😖
Child of the 60’s here saying you are a role model for me, Jess.
Our side didn’t do this, the MAGAs have elected a man and his party backers who consort with dictators and despots. That’s a classic case of evil winning over good as I see it.
Robert Hubbell refers to the legacy media, aka mainstream, they are guilty of complicity if they don’t write the truth about it, and they’re already guilty of malpractice for normalizing it.
Bless you Jess for putting yourself out there, seeing and encouraging the rest of us who think, read and feel to go out and see if we can persuade. Again. Here we go! I'm only 90, but am ready go. Again.
I’m 70 and I abandoned corporate media over a decade ago. I left Facebook and Instagram several years ago. I was never on TikTok or any other social media until I found Substack.
Jess, I am one who will NEVER be convinced that trump won swing states where the Senate seat went to a Dem. I think we all know that the capabilities of these terrorists know no bounds. I was disappointed that a concession speech was given too soon. I don’t care “how it looks”. These are liars, criminals, terrorists.
At any rate, the media blitz of lies by right wing media enabled them to make the preposterous happen again. Trump said out loud, he already had the votes to win. Hmmmm. No need for investigations there!! 🤦🏻♀️
At any rate, the Blue States must come together and Block Trump at every turn. We must be relentless. I love Jess’ use of throwing sand in the gears!
Oh, and with trump’s love affair with Israel & Israel’s hope to get the US into a war with Iran, we could see astronomical fuel prices…but i hope the MAGAs can use their pick-up trucks as their new homes, because THEY will be so affected. They’ll blame Dems for 2 years, then run out of excuses.
We will all suffer, but we know what’s coming, the MAGAs don’t. My governor, JB Pritzker is calling a special session to lock in state laws to protect us and is getting a battle plan together to defy the Fascist criminal elect. California has a massive economy…they can almost be a country on their own.
Thanks Jess. I was beginning to feel like I'm an anomaly. I'm an old hippie leftist. As a college student (BA '73) I loved my generation. I thought we were so cool. We ended the Viet Nam war, we ushered in the revolution via the Women's Movement, we embraced Black Power and the Black Panthers. I thought we had changed the world. Sadly we did not. That my generation, my beloved generation, would be responsible for this travesty of an election result hurts me more than I can say. Turns out that view of my generation isn't as rosy as I thought. But just because there are some yahoo Boomers out there, doesn't mean those of us who believed in peace and sisterhood/brotherhood can't still keep up the fight. I'm not going anywhere. I probably won't be too understanding when those folks who voted for chaos are devastated by the way the policies negatively effect them. They deserve what they voted for!
I know Jess already commented on her comment about boomers, but I just want to add - your generation was/is cool. Your generation allowed my mother … so much. And it allowed me, my daughter and all females to live a rich hopeful productive life. We’ve lost this election and likely so much more, but without you, and all that have followed in the good your generation ushered in, we wouldn’t be here with our resources and drive and power to fight. 💗
:) I think most of us got that TikTok was the point and that’s its plethora of misinformation effected every generation, not just the young. Thank you for all your writing and sharing Jess.
I don't think the shock of this will wear off anytime soon. I'm in a daze, gutted and just trying to put one foot in front of the other. The propaganda effort was well done and it worked.... and now we all pay the price. I used to hope that the good in people would prevail.... my faith in my fellow man has been shattered. But....I need to say how valuable you have been ... and are... to so many of us who still hope for a better country. THANK YOU for all you have done and continue to do.
I have been sharing your pieces with my friends who mostly live in the blue west coast. What you said in this piece is exactly how I feel. We are organizing because we know we are not safe. I live in Portland, Oregon and the white suppremicists will be out and about trying to terrify us just like they did the first go around. I don’t think folks realize those of us who lived here in 2020 have already lived through a trump federal takeover. The feds were here. They were in black vans and overhead. They picked up portlanders and detained them and took copies of their IDs. I have wondered since what happened to that information.
Thank you for being a warrior and helping this not feel so lonely.
I’m at 77 year-old lifetime Democrat in Salt Lake City, Utah. My first in presidential elections was going door-to-door for John Kennedy. We do need to change our tactics. I am going to learn how to be effective on TikTok. Until now I have no social media involvement.
The last time I was active was during the Vietnam War and I was the spokesperson for the anti-war movement here. That means I have some skills in and organizing. But I don’t have the skills required in this time. May I ask my friends who want to do something that may, like me, not be savvy when it comes to today’s communications. Learn them! Use them! Get a younger person to help you and tell you can do it yourself! Just doing that will already start a bond with younger people. Let’s face it we will be off this planet pretty soon but we’re leaving a lot of loved on this behind, we have to deal with this shit. We must join forces with them. We already know how to resist. We already know how to spot the lies. Maybe we can get them to stop making jokes about old people and distrusting us long enough to give them the benefit of our experience. To you young people out there, please give us a chance we’ve been there done that and got more than we can wear. Please talk to us and please listen to us.
I was at a rally several months ago, and there was a woman in 80s there. She talked about not being able to apply for medical school in her 20s because they told her she may end up pregnant and waste a spot that a man could’ve had. Friend, thank you for your fight. Thank you for being at it for so long. I’m sorry we are failing you.
You are not failing senior women. My experience in the 1960s and 1970s was hard, but today’s world for women is harder, I think because of access to digital media.
Jess, I Appreciate your reply here. Just knowing you hear this woman has lifted my heart at the end of another ‘uphill’ Sunday in church w wonderful people who are trying yo be open & loving with one another… while pretending there isn’t an elephant in the room…
Susan, reaching out to young people is a great idea. Voting in that block was down, which is shocking until you realize that 25 percent of Gen Z is depressed. Hard to get out and vote and be engaged when you are depressed. Covid did a number on the whole generation in ways we do not fully understand. Intergenerational organizing and creating spaces for intergeneration interaction could be a step in the right direction. We need each other.
We do indeed! My age group also has huge numbers of depressed people. Most of it because we no longer feel relevant. We are relevant now. We have fought before and know some of what to expect. Even Nixon had a shit list! Wait. I’m new to this. Is it ok to use foul language when describing foul people? If not please someone tell me and I apologize.
We’ll Thomas Jefferson war that free and democracy would have to be defended in every generation.
Susan, I love this. The hope, the importance of multigenerational work, the commitment to moving forward. Thanks for this and for all the work you’ve done.
PS. I grew up in Ogden and know a little about being liberally minded in Utah.
Jess, One of the best parts of Trump 2016 was that he activated an army of grassroots organizations intent on making sure he would never see the Oval Office again. I have been inspired by you and so many other leaders in this movement. You have been my community, my north star and I thank you for all of your efforts. Carry on as we need to fight like hell to be sure Trump and his regime are opposed on all of the demonic plans they have for our country. This newer grassroots collective of Americans will persevere and I couldn't be more proud to be in this fight with you and so many good and decent people!
Good Morning Jess. We do need to really think differently about being woment. At 74, I've seen changes for the better, but not enough. Recently, it seems we are going backwards in time. The lack of ability to know what real research is, much less do it is appalling. But then, how many of the Trumpsters have read a book since leaving high school? Other than pulp fiction. Buying into the disinformation in your pocket which is reinforced by neighbors, friends, families, churches.......is just too easy. A whole lot of people will be in for a huge suprise. My daughter's boyfriend just bragged on FB that he bought alfalfa from Texas for $2/bale due to Trump winning. WHAT?? If many of the farm workers are deported as Trump brags they will, bet he will be crying about the cost of hay of any type next year. And fruits and vegetables. Just who is going to do those jobs. I remember the harvest crews that came through at the end of growing season for soybeans, hay and other things in rural Missouri. Big Sigh. Please continue the good trouble and fight for what is true.
I hate to say this, but your daughter's boyfriend was lying. Texas has had a severe drought, and small square bales not delivered are $8-10, per Texas Ag: https://www.ams.usda.gov/mnreports/am_gr310.txt She should be cautious with this guy.
Trump says whatever he thinks will get a rise from his audience. He doesn't think anything through,, which is why his economic policies are guaranteed failures and will especially harm his MAGA supporters. There are signs that some are beginning to see this: they are "shocked" to learn that tariffs are taxes that they will have to pay, not foreign countries. Buyers remorse.
I’m beside myself. I’ve been numb since Tuesday. I think you know me pretty well from a distance. I’ve supported your words and mission for a while now. I just don’t get it. I quit Twitter and went to Spoutible. I can’t support that platform anymore. IDKW I’m going to do. I know we have to persevere, but I will tell you honestly that this week has been difficult. The system already seems rigged, going forward based on what I’ve read about Project 2025, it seems like it’s only going to get worse.
Be safe and best of luck. You’re an amazing person and my hope for all of us is we make it through the next 4 years.
I do Counter Social, not really my cup of tea, and takes a while to get into the following/ follower deal but they have a no troll policy, and they mean it. I looked at twitter on a friend’s phone once and never even tried to sign up for it. Did TikTok briefly, couldn’t stand the algorithm. Algorithms are a big part of the problem.
I’m looking carefully around my community for enlightened suggestions for coherent action mOstLY TO BUILD new connections for safety for women & children.
Being quiet is not an option. You have your red MO, I have my red FL. The tastes we have had of their fascism is not pleasant in the least. I am 71, so I have lived through so many protests, but I think these will be the worst times. We need to stick together, and disrupt all that we can. We already know from tRUmp’s first term trial balloon, that the moderately sane people will be jettisoned for the best psychopaths and sociopaths.
Each person must take care of herself to grow personally, in joy, in spirit, professionally, intellectually.
Look to our loved ones, irrespective of their own political sentiments.
As far as social media, that is today, but there is such social media as the garbage on "X" etc. but Substack -- which has a mix (including some neo-fascists) -- has YOUR column, the ones of Professor Heather Cox Richardson, Professor Robert Reich, Professor Joyce Vance, Ambassador Michael McFaul, Professor Daniel W. Drezner, among many.
And your recommendations:
"Remember that we will face this together and there are at least 70 million of us who didn’t sign up for this shit. Stand up if you can. Prepare for the policies they have said they will enact.
I concur with all you said! I have deleted FB, threads, boycotting businesses that supported the disgusting vermin, and I don't have any f...s left for any of these fools who voted for the regime! I'm done caring for others except my family. I'm sick that this election turned out the way it did and all I have to say to these fools is "don't complain to me when this affects you , you did this!"
G O Jess! Rest well, exercise and build new supports close to home to keep you safe and feeling upbeat . We need you more than you will ever know … truly a bright star in s very long dark night.
Do not look to fascists for comfort even if they are (still) your “loved” ones. We are so far beyond “political sentiments.” If you insist on keeping company with authoritarians, the least you can do is call them out; otherwise, you’re complicit.
Also The Bulwark is on Substack. They also post videos to Youtube and audio to podcasts, but the Bulwark have gotten me through this. Highly recommend.
Love Heather Cox Richardson, Robert Reich, Joyce Vance and I don't know Michale or Professor Daniel Dresser. Will have to look them up. Thanks.
Great list of others to follow on Substack. I'd also recommend Thom Hartmann on Free Speech TV and YouTube. He has a 3 hr progam and is a great progressive.
I've been astounded at the number of "analyses" that do not mention misogyny or racism. Or if they do, it's an afterthought. We know. You know. This was such a hard read, but perfect for what just happened. I was so fired up to fight after 2016. But this time .... I will not go quietly, but I will have to find a way to fight in a different way. So disappointed in my fellow white women (and gen Xers). And the men? Gave up on them as a collective a long time ago.
No one ever answers an exit poll with "I'm racist and a misogynist" so I will never vote for a woman or a person of color. It feels like much of the analysis is based on data that is not exactly true information.
I totally agree that now is NOT the time to slice and dice so I would suggest not reading or commenting on any of this crap. MAGA loves when we do this. And no matter what the faults of the campaign, the message would never squeeze into the man-o-sphere. Finally I will not engage with any election or Jan 6 denier. No point. Thank Jess for your thoughts
Very well said Jess. And as I told a female friend yesterday, I think all women need to start carrying bear spray for self defense against these "your body, my choice" morons.
We all need to take self-defense classes. At the very least keep in mind that, if approached from behind, throw your head back hard to smash the nose. If approached from the front, knee them in the nuts until they’re crying on the floor.
Jess, you were one of my favorite follows on Twitter. This post-truth world we find ourselves in has been absolutely kicking my butt for over a decade. Homo sapiens is the only species capable of abstract thought. It's our super power and our achilles heal. Abstract ideas need not be true in any objective sense. The most powerful ones just make people feel good. It's a drug. Literally. Brain chemicals flow, ideas are deemed to be "true." Wash, rinse, repeat. Many days I wonder if humankind can survive pernicious abstract constructs like religion. Anyway, I appreciate you. I try to be an ally in the coalition of the decent. I'm not perfect, but I try.
It was 100% racism followed by sexism. That was why as a white female not only do I feel heartbroken by Harris losing, I also feel shame. White female family members of mine either voted for Trump directly or indirectly by not voting. Their false and racist beliefs of dangerous scapegoat immigrants stood as some most important ideal above all women’s actual body autonomy because they wanted to hold on to their white privilege. Black women tried to save us all and we failed to support them. I am sorry.
I have much to learn in the carrying the message in a clear k no on-threatening way so I’m Not shut out. My distress caused some to close the door on me. I’ll learn better. I’m continuing to read twice at least here. I’ll get better w confrontation without anger .
Linda, I am so sorry. It is horrible, as racism always is. And of course sexism. At least Kamala was obviously younger and more vigorous that T the Terrible. As an old woman, I had thought more people would see how old he was, if nothing else (he lies like he breathes and is a proven despicable degenerate, and more and more obviously he is mentally ill). I know that while I voted for Joe Biden last time, of course, and consider him to have saved us (along with Kamala) at that time, his age did work against him a lot. And as an old woman, I KNOW that almost no one over 70 could be up to the rigors of a hard job like the Presidency.
I see the election as another fall of civilization, like the sacking of Rome ended that civilization, classical culture, and brought on the Dark Ages. A time of superstition and city states run by tyrants. Resistance is of course vital. Unfortunately our devolution is not alone. The mass migration precipitated by climate change will accelerate and amplify the collapse, the cries for a strong man to lead and protect. Shit.
I think I need to say something here about the Boomer comment. I was pointing out my parents generation and how some of them have been caught up in TikTok misinformation. I surely met no disrespect. The best Resistors I know are women in their 60s and 70s. They fought this battle in one. And we have lost it. Solidarity.
It’s so hard to get past the rage, the incredulity that women, correction: white women, have done this AGAIN. The same women with the temerity to now peek around their bubble to tell me that I need to understand that I’ve been fed lies and that everything is going to be okay and I need to stop overreacting.
I am not overreacting, nor do I appreciate their chastising me (utilizing the very tropes with which men have tethered them) as though I am a misguided child in need of correction. They can bless their own goddam hearts while I temper my rage with actions, however small they may be.
Thank you for sharing your experiences. It’s important and powerful. I’ll be the grey-haired white gal in NH with a pocketful of sand at the ready. We are not powerless unless and until we give up.
I is HARD to get past the rage. White women prefer their whiteness over their femaleness, and then wonder why women have it so hard.
They are going to find themselves and their loved ones in a world of hurt in the coming months. I will not have any sympathy to spare for them when the horrors they voted for come into reality.
The problem was not the candidate or her campaign. 1)It was the millions who decided not to vote like this was some normal election. 2) It was the pure old downhard meanness, racism, and stupidity of the majority of people who voted in this election. 3)Yes, it really is stupidity and meanness, marinated in right wing media lies. Someone far smarter than I am will have to come up with some ideas. I’m 71, and the world works differently than it did.
THERE IT IS:
“White women prefer their whiteness over their femaleness, and then wonder why women have it so hard.”
I agree with everything you’ve said. I’m 61 in one of the whitest states in the country and I haven’t earned the right to sit it out. We can all find our way to push back. You use your words extremely well. There’s a lot of power in that.
Is it their whiteness or their grooming? Please reread Barbies speech. Being repeatedly told that you only have value if you are a good obedient wife and an always sacrificing mother really messes with girls/women’s heads, Woman only have value only when sacrificing? they should find meaning in jobs as vocations, they shouldn’t compete for money? Being the breadwinner is a man’s job? I don’t care how far we have come, these are deep lessons that sit in our unconscious, When I was working as a nurse, we were the medical center for the college students, We had many girls coming in with anal tears. When discussing how this happened, they said they wanted to remain virgins for their wedding night,:but boy friends pressured them into anal sex. I counseled that they should never agree to anything they really didn’t want to do, but if they did want to consider anal sex, both participants should learn how to do it right before experimenting. They need to know they have the right to say stop if anything hurts. Most of these girls didn’t know they had the right to say they didn’t want to try, or if they did, to expect that they should both find out how to make it enjoyable for both, or that they could say stop. They, almost 100%, felt that they were supposed to take care of the needs of their boyfriend, and did not recognize that their needs were equally as valid. Thing to think about?
Does it really matter? There will always be people who do what they’re told or whatever everyone around them does. Or whatever pleases a man (boyfriend, husband, Trump). Cultural conditioning or because humans are social creatures and follow social cues, unless some stronger need/voice pushes against the prevailing winds. Understandable, but I personally don’t have any extra worry energy for them.
I don’t have any answers. For me, grounding myself and strengthening my personal community of people who share similar values. We (Dems, presidential election) spent a LOT of money and that bothers me. It was ineffective but also, my god, so wasteful and so self-sustaining! How many careers and corporations are propped up by this endless, super-bowl-like extravaganza? There has to be a better way
I've noticed that now that the election is over. And conceded...that there are tons of political messages on Instagram, etc. Way more and more constantly than before Nov 5th.
I'm wondering if it was decided by the higher-ups in the business, to not run them in a timely manner. thus a slanted source... And run them afterwards, so they can keep the $.
Acquiessing to unwanted doggie is not submission, it is naive verification of men's worst claims that dominance is natural. Natural? No pun intended.
The Blue states are already preparing and the governors are in touch with one another. Blue states can really impede trump.
California alone is the 5th largest economy in the WORLD! Gross Domestic Product (GDP) as of 2022 was $3.5trillion!!!
Wyoming, Alaska, Vermont have the lowest…2 out of three red states..
So true. White women prefer their whiteness over their femaleness. Sigh.
And their sons over their daughters. Which I learned from the mother who gave me up as a toddler and decades later berated the boy she kept with the phrase “I have too much invested in you” was thrown out at him. I did finally give up the decades of hope I had for a mother’s love.
Her whiteness paid for her to have a pretty comfortable life with lots of perks. That emptiness was her choice.
Unfortunately, though they may find themselves in a world of hurt, many will never accept the facts about why. They will go to their deaths revering their Dear Leader and consuming the shit they are fed as though it is Mana. Apparently that is preferable to ever admitting they were wrong.
Yes. It will always be someone else’s fault.
neck-and-neck with "half the country did X" (none of the numbers justify this meme), this is consuming way too much oxygen where i am internet-treading recently: FAFO is punchy shorthand but "find out" is not what is even remotely likely to happen, as you indicate - the phrase implies awareness, and anyone who was bamboozled into voting GOP this time around doesn't have stellar chances of waking up to any factual chain of causality just because Bad Economic Things [are going to] happen under Trump's second 'watch'.
... even shorthand like "actions have consequences" falls flat when awareness of and around the consequences is so fucking benighted.
I was saying to my son when he relished the thought of them getting their comeuppances. They would only blame us Dems for any hurt they suffer. When their "sweeping changes" can't happen with the incompetence of their new administration (yes I am aware there will bad things happen) they will throw it back at us saying we were worried for nothing.
It is misogyny. Woman-hating. Our country is excellent at it, and most women (no, I am not cutting POC a break here) have supported it. It's what they want: cruelty and barbarity against the "other," except that nobody's thought things through and realized that the "other" will be them when the ordinary victims run out.
I came from a family where women were loved, not hated. My maternal grandmother was one of the first female Coloradans to earn a PhD. Both of her daughters were PhDs, and had good careers. My mother was a terrific mother, something I didn't fully realize until--a nearly two decades after she died--I wrote a story about a walk we took when I was not quite three, and she did something that irritated the crap out of my toddler self. She started walking backwards. My memory of her walking backwards is still quite vivid, nearly 70 years later, and as I wrote, I started asking myself, what was she thinking? What was she trying to do? Well, like I said, she was a terrific mother. And her sister was an amazing character. Their mother, alas, died long before I was born.
https://www.csmonitor.com/The-Culture/The-home-forum/2020/0805/heeding-her-invitation-six-decades-later
Also misogyny & racism!
I honestly only know a few of them and they are not in my circle anymore. All of my white senior boomer friends were on board for Harris. It is hard to even understand these women who voted for the adjudicated rapist. I don't know any because the few I dumped chose not to even vote and never have. Another demographic I am appalled about.
I'm 66 and I feel the same. I don't know how we can possibly break through all the lies, privilege, fear of others and self centeredness. When the opposing party cheats and lies and had no moral compass, how does a party of integrity counter them???
I think we ned to realize how much our culture, our religions, our language etc reinforces the idea that women are inferior, are here to serve man, and gain their sense of self worth from being good at these roles. woman are trapped in this dilemma. Why do you think so many tolerate or return to the abusive partner? Trump is the abusive spouse that many have forgiven and taken back thinking it will be different, but those of us who have escaped this grooming know he won’t be any different, We need to temper our rage with tolerance and keep setting the example of what we want this country to be, But feeling the rage first is always an important step.
One of stages of grief (anger). I know I've been through denial, but I don't want to get to acceptance.
Bingo!
A pocketful of ammunition might be more useful than sand. I am tired of women being beaten and tortured and shot without consequences. From a woman in her pajamas to a woman sleeping to a woman cornered in a garage by an enraged male, we get blown away by men "fearing for their lives." Throw your sand and wail to your god in the same churches that see us as chattel. See how much good it does us.
I understand your point, but I will be more effective gumming up the works. We all have different strengths, and disruption is more my wheelhouse.
Our reasons are varied and valid, our actions and reactions are too.
I guess then some of us will be the sacrificial wall allowing you to "throw your sand." Chant some stuff about samsara and toss some mandalas around. We all saw how well that worked out for Tibet. Stop wasting our time withe same useless "resistance." Pussy hats = "sand". It's time to get serious, yet even those of us who aren't Trumper ballerinas are still playing stupid games while women bleed out in parking lots or die of sepsis while doctors and nurses smirk.
I’m not fighting with you. You do you. We don’t have to do everything one person’s way to get shit done. Stay mad. I’m mad too. I’m just not mad at you.
Yeah, I'm a little outside the boundaries atm. If you're on Schedule F, you won't even be allowed to spread the sand.
Right there with you in NH!!!
As an old lady who'd run through this before, all I can think of is that protest sign that says, "I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVE TO DO THIS ALL AGAIN." Such a sign might get us shot now.
We know that J.D. Vance thinks us old women are useless except for free childcare. We know that the mantra of Trump is "your body, my choice, forever." If you realize that that this idea makes you essentially disposable -- it will take a year or so before they really kick it in -- hold on to your passport and be ready to use it.
In WaPo, Alexandra Petri wrote a great piece about this very thing. She used the example of Sysiphus pushing the stone uphill again and again! I've unsubscribed from WaPo, but hasn't run out yet.
My WaPo subscription terminated a few weeks ago. I love and miss Petri. If you're so inclined, Susan, would you copy and paste?
Linda, look at my profile. The first two links.🤞
Thank you for the links. And as for the WaPo cancellation, it was just due. I initially renewed for a lower annual fee, begrudgingly, but put in the cancel order as soon as Bezos killed the Harris endorsement.
I was mulling my decision regarding canceling. Then Bezos published his shitty "justification" of his reason not to endorse. Total BS and so pompous and entitled sounding!😖
You and me both.
Petri is great. She's also a fellow Wisconsinite, which I think heavily informs her worldview.
And we’re still here, fighting again. Thank you.
Child of the 60’s here saying you are a role model for me, Jess.
Our side didn’t do this, the MAGAs have elected a man and his party backers who consort with dictators and despots. That’s a classic case of evil winning over good as I see it.
Robert Hubbell refers to the legacy media, aka mainstream, they are guilty of complicity if they don’t write the truth about it, and they’re already guilty of malpractice for normalizing it.
Bless you Jess for putting yourself out there, seeing and encouraging the rest of us who think, read and feel to go out and see if we can persuade. Again. Here we go! I'm only 90, but am ready go. Again.
I’m 70 and I abandoned corporate media over a decade ago. I left Facebook and Instagram several years ago. I was never on TikTok or any other social media until I found Substack.
Jess, I am one who will NEVER be convinced that trump won swing states where the Senate seat went to a Dem. I think we all know that the capabilities of these terrorists know no bounds. I was disappointed that a concession speech was given too soon. I don’t care “how it looks”. These are liars, criminals, terrorists.
At any rate, the media blitz of lies by right wing media enabled them to make the preposterous happen again. Trump said out loud, he already had the votes to win. Hmmmm. No need for investigations there!! 🤦🏻♀️
At any rate, the Blue States must come together and Block Trump at every turn. We must be relentless. I love Jess’ use of throwing sand in the gears!
Oh, and with trump’s love affair with Israel & Israel’s hope to get the US into a war with Iran, we could see astronomical fuel prices…but i hope the MAGAs can use their pick-up trucks as their new homes, because THEY will be so affected. They’ll blame Dems for 2 years, then run out of excuses.
We will all suffer, but we know what’s coming, the MAGAs don’t. My governor, JB Pritzker is calling a special session to lock in state laws to protect us and is getting a battle plan together to defy the Fascist criminal elect. California has a massive economy…they can almost be a country on their own.
We will find ways to jam the gears of Fascism.
Seeking reason, I agree with every single word you said.
Thanks Jess. I was beginning to feel like I'm an anomaly. I'm an old hippie leftist. As a college student (BA '73) I loved my generation. I thought we were so cool. We ended the Viet Nam war, we ushered in the revolution via the Women's Movement, we embraced Black Power and the Black Panthers. I thought we had changed the world. Sadly we did not. That my generation, my beloved generation, would be responsible for this travesty of an election result hurts me more than I can say. Turns out that view of my generation isn't as rosy as I thought. But just because there are some yahoo Boomers out there, doesn't mean those of us who believed in peace and sisterhood/brotherhood can't still keep up the fight. I'm not going anywhere. I probably won't be too understanding when those folks who voted for chaos are devastated by the way the policies negatively effect them. They deserve what they voted for!
I know Jess already commented on her comment about boomers, but I just want to add - your generation was/is cool. Your generation allowed my mother … so much. And it allowed me, my daughter and all females to live a rich hopeful productive life. We’ve lost this election and likely so much more, but without you, and all that have followed in the good your generation ushered in, we wouldn’t be here with our resources and drive and power to fight. 💗
:) I think most of us got that TikTok was the point and that’s its plethora of misinformation effected every generation, not just the young. Thank you for all your writing and sharing Jess.
Thank you, Jess, for all that you have done and continue to do. I so appreciate you!
I don't think the shock of this will wear off anytime soon. I'm in a daze, gutted and just trying to put one foot in front of the other. The propaganda effort was well done and it worked.... and now we all pay the price. I used to hope that the good in people would prevail.... my faith in my fellow man has been shattered. But....I need to say how valuable you have been ... and are... to so many of us who still hope for a better country. THANK YOU for all you have done and continue to do.
I feel that in my soul
I have been sharing your pieces with my friends who mostly live in the blue west coast. What you said in this piece is exactly how I feel. We are organizing because we know we are not safe. I live in Portland, Oregon and the white suppremicists will be out and about trying to terrify us just like they did the first go around. I don’t think folks realize those of us who lived here in 2020 have already lived through a trump federal takeover. The feds were here. They were in black vans and overhead. They picked up portlanders and detained them and took copies of their IDs. I have wondered since what happened to that information.
Thank you for being a warrior and helping this not feel so lonely.
In the words of the great John Lewis make good trouble.
Yessssss
I’m at 77 year-old lifetime Democrat in Salt Lake City, Utah. My first in presidential elections was going door-to-door for John Kennedy. We do need to change our tactics. I am going to learn how to be effective on TikTok. Until now I have no social media involvement.
The last time I was active was during the Vietnam War and I was the spokesperson for the anti-war movement here. That means I have some skills in and organizing. But I don’t have the skills required in this time. May I ask my friends who want to do something that may, like me, not be savvy when it comes to today’s communications. Learn them! Use them! Get a younger person to help you and tell you can do it yourself! Just doing that will already start a bond with younger people. Let’s face it we will be off this planet pretty soon but we’re leaving a lot of loved on this behind, we have to deal with this shit. We must join forces with them. We already know how to resist. We already know how to spot the lies. Maybe we can get them to stop making jokes about old people and distrusting us long enough to give them the benefit of our experience. To you young people out there, please give us a chance we’ve been there done that and got more than we can wear. Please talk to us and please listen to us.
I was at a rally several months ago, and there was a woman in 80s there. She talked about not being able to apply for medical school in her 20s because they told her she may end up pregnant and waste a spot that a man could’ve had. Friend, thank you for your fight. Thank you for being at it for so long. I’m sorry we are failing you.
Hey, there. You are failing none of us. Just naming that knee-jerk reaction to blame our females selves… as I do.
You wrote in your piece what I feel and think.
You are not failing senior women. My experience in the 1960s and 1970s was hard, but today’s world for women is harder, I think because of access to digital media.
And misogynist men and women repeating old tropes while fully aware that they are spreading mean-spirited disinformation ..
You are not failing me or anyone.
You are Not failing us.
You are inspiring us!
7 generations forward
Solidarity 💫
Jess, I Appreciate your reply here. Just knowing you hear this woman has lifted my heart at the end of another ‘uphill’ Sunday in church w wonderful people who are trying yo be open & loving with one another… while pretending there isn’t an elephant in the room…
Susan, reaching out to young people is a great idea. Voting in that block was down, which is shocking until you realize that 25 percent of Gen Z is depressed. Hard to get out and vote and be engaged when you are depressed. Covid did a number on the whole generation in ways we do not fully understand. Intergenerational organizing and creating spaces for intergeneration interaction could be a step in the right direction. We need each other.
We do indeed! My age group also has huge numbers of depressed people. Most of it because we no longer feel relevant. We are relevant now. We have fought before and know some of what to expect. Even Nixon had a shit list! Wait. I’m new to this. Is it ok to use foul language when describing foul people? If not please someone tell me and I apologize.
We’ll Thomas Jefferson war that free and democracy would have to be defended in every generation.
I am long past caring whether it’s OK to use profanity.
Thank you. I personally feel that it is required but like any life-long democrat woman I would never want to offend anyone.
I did not know the above tragic numbers of Covid era leftover mental challenges in the very young 20-something…
From a 76 year old man................AMEN!
Susan, I love this. The hope, the importance of multigenerational work, the commitment to moving forward. Thanks for this and for all the work you’ve done.
PS. I grew up in Ogden and know a little about being liberally minded in Utah.
Jess, One of the best parts of Trump 2016 was that he activated an army of grassroots organizations intent on making sure he would never see the Oval Office again. I have been inspired by you and so many other leaders in this movement. You have been my community, my north star and I thank you for all of your efforts. Carry on as we need to fight like hell to be sure Trump and his regime are opposed on all of the demonic plans they have for our country. This newer grassroots collective of Americans will persevere and I couldn't be more proud to be in this fight with you and so many good and decent people!
Solidarity, friend
Truly agree Patty.
Stay the Course Jess. We need your rallying info and great interviews w brilliant committed to democracy young professionals.
Good Morning Jess. We do need to really think differently about being woment. At 74, I've seen changes for the better, but not enough. Recently, it seems we are going backwards in time. The lack of ability to know what real research is, much less do it is appalling. But then, how many of the Trumpsters have read a book since leaving high school? Other than pulp fiction. Buying into the disinformation in your pocket which is reinforced by neighbors, friends, families, churches.......is just too easy. A whole lot of people will be in for a huge suprise. My daughter's boyfriend just bragged on FB that he bought alfalfa from Texas for $2/bale due to Trump winning. WHAT?? If many of the farm workers are deported as Trump brags they will, bet he will be crying about the cost of hay of any type next year. And fruits and vegetables. Just who is going to do those jobs. I remember the harvest crews that came through at the end of growing season for soybeans, hay and other things in rural Missouri. Big Sigh. Please continue the good trouble and fight for what is true.
Thank you, friend
Sad and infuriating thing is that they will blame Biden. And the “elite” Democrats. I am and have been many things. Elite ain’t any of them.
Exactly. Vance went to Yale and Trump to Wharton. Who are the elites?
I hate to say this, but your daughter's boyfriend was lying. Texas has had a severe drought, and small square bales not delivered are $8-10, per Texas Ag: https://www.ams.usda.gov/mnreports/am_gr310.txt She should be cautious with this guy.
Yeah, he is full of it.
Trump says whatever he thinks will get a rise from his audience. He doesn't think anything through,, which is why his economic policies are guaranteed failures and will especially harm his MAGA supporters. There are signs that some are beginning to see this: they are "shocked" to learn that tariffs are taxes that they will have to pay, not foreign countries. Buyers remorse.
Yes, and they are only learning because their employers are letting them know why there are going to be bonus cuts and layoffs.
Waking up is hard to do …. The Beatles ‘adjusted’ lyrics
This exactly. Thank you!
All correct thinking here. Thsnk you Linda
Hi Jess.
I’m beside myself. I’ve been numb since Tuesday. I think you know me pretty well from a distance. I’ve supported your words and mission for a while now. I just don’t get it. I quit Twitter and went to Spoutible. I can’t support that platform anymore. IDKW I’m going to do. I know we have to persevere, but I will tell you honestly that this week has been difficult. The system already seems rigged, going forward based on what I’ve read about Project 2025, it seems like it’s only going to get worse.
Be safe and best of luck. You’re an amazing person and my hope for all of us is we make it through the next 4 years.
Your Friend From Illinois,
Chris
In solidarity, Chris
I’m with you, Chris. Substack is our new home.
I do Counter Social, not really my cup of tea, and takes a while to get into the following/ follower deal but they have a no troll policy, and they mean it. I looked at twitter on a friend’s phone once and never even tried to sign up for it. Did TikTok briefly, couldn’t stand the algorithm. Algorithms are a big part of the problem.
I’m looking carefully around my community for enlightened suggestions for coherent action mOstLY TO BUILD new connections for safety for women & children.
Being quiet is not an option. You have your red MO, I have my red FL. The tastes we have had of their fascism is not pleasant in the least. I am 71, so I have lived through so many protests, but I think these will be the worst times. We need to stick together, and disrupt all that we can. We already know from tRUmp’s first term trial balloon, that the moderately sane people will be jettisoned for the best psychopaths and sociopaths.
Disrupters, unite!
Jess Piper: Yes, yours is exactly the right plan:
Each person must take care of herself to grow personally, in joy, in spirit, professionally, intellectually.
Look to our loved ones, irrespective of their own political sentiments.
As far as social media, that is today, but there is such social media as the garbage on "X" etc. but Substack -- which has a mix (including some neo-fascists) -- has YOUR column, the ones of Professor Heather Cox Richardson, Professor Robert Reich, Professor Joyce Vance, Ambassador Michael McFaul, Professor Daniel W. Drezner, among many.
And your recommendations:
"Remember that we will face this together and there are at least 70 million of us who didn’t sign up for this shit. Stand up if you can. Prepare for the policies they have said they will enact.
"Don’t let anxiety win. Don’t give up.
"We have no choice but to be prepared."
I concur with all you said! I have deleted FB, threads, boycotting businesses that supported the disgusting vermin, and I don't have any f...s left for any of these fools who voted for the regime! I'm done caring for others except my family. I'm sick that this election turned out the way it did and all I have to say to these fools is "don't complain to me when this affects you , you did this!"
They’ll blame us anyway.
Jess, I'm sending love, respect and appreciation to you this morning. Thank you for all your work, intelligence, courage and generosity.
G O Jess! Rest well, exercise and build new supports close to home to keep you safe and feeling upbeat . We need you more than you will ever know … truly a bright star in s very long dark night.
Do not look to fascists for comfort even if they are (still) your “loved” ones. We are so far beyond “political sentiments.” If you insist on keeping company with authoritarians, the least you can do is call them out; otherwise, you’re complicit.
Harsh to read, and deeply Honest.
Also The Bulwark is on Substack. They also post videos to Youtube and audio to podcasts, but the Bulwark have gotten me through this. Highly recommend.
Love Heather Cox Richardson, Robert Reich, Joyce Vance and I don't know Michale or Professor Daniel Dresser. Will have to look them up. Thanks.
I'd add Situation Normal by Michael Estrin.
Thanks. :)
Great list of others to follow on Substack. I'd also recommend Thom Hartmann on Free Speech TV and YouTube. He has a 3 hr progam and is a great progressive.
I've been astounded at the number of "analyses" that do not mention misogyny or racism. Or if they do, it's an afterthought. We know. You know. This was such a hard read, but perfect for what just happened. I was so fired up to fight after 2016. But this time .... I will not go quietly, but I will have to find a way to fight in a different way. So disappointed in my fellow white women (and gen Xers). And the men? Gave up on them as a collective a long time ago.
No one ever answers an exit poll with "I'm racist and a misogynist" so I will never vote for a woman or a person of color. It feels like much of the analysis is based on data that is not exactly true information.
Fight in a different way! Same! 💥
😤👊😤👊😤👊
Sad to read. And completely understand.
I totally agree that now is NOT the time to slice and dice so I would suggest not reading or commenting on any of this crap. MAGA loves when we do this. And no matter what the faults of the campaign, the message would never squeeze into the man-o-sphere. Finally I will not engage with any election or Jan 6 denier. No point. Thank Jess for your thoughts
Very well said Jess. And as I told a female friend yesterday, I think all women need to start carrying bear spray for self defense against these "your body, my choice" morons.
And teach your daughters.
Plus, let that inner mama bear show her teeth too.
“Your cock, my Glock” might be catching on
Good one!!
We all need to take self-defense classes. At the very least keep in mind that, if approached from behind, throw your head back hard to smash the nose. If approached from the front, knee them in the nuts until they’re crying on the floor.
My grandfather, pbuh, fought nazi in Europe, taught me that there is no such thing as a fair fight. Put them on the ground and keep them there.
fair fights are for posterity and science. they have no value when survival is the priority.
I like the idea of throwing sand in the gears.
Let’s do it
Jess, you were one of my favorite follows on Twitter. This post-truth world we find ourselves in has been absolutely kicking my butt for over a decade. Homo sapiens is the only species capable of abstract thought. It's our super power and our achilles heal. Abstract ideas need not be true in any objective sense. The most powerful ones just make people feel good. It's a drug. Literally. Brain chemicals flow, ideas are deemed to be "true." Wash, rinse, repeat. Many days I wonder if humankind can survive pernicious abstract constructs like religion. Anyway, I appreciate you. I try to be an ally in the coalition of the decent. I'm not perfect, but I try.
None of us are perfect. We can only do as much as we can do. Thank you for being in the fight.
Thank you for bring here, and keep trying.. we’re all doing fine if that… trying ..
As a Black woman, I have been waiting for someone white to admit and lead the conversation in admitting why VP Harris lost...It was racism and sexism.
Who here is going to lead the convo?
I'm waiting fellow Democrats, and my sisterhood.
I'm waiting.
It was 100% racism followed by sexism. That was why as a white female not only do I feel heartbroken by Harris losing, I also feel shame. White female family members of mine either voted for Trump directly or indirectly by not voting. Their false and racist beliefs of dangerous scapegoat immigrants stood as some most important ideal above all women’s actual body autonomy because they wanted to hold on to their white privilege. Black women tried to save us all and we failed to support them. I am sorry.
Well written. Thank you Jessica Moats.
I have much to learn in the carrying the message in a clear k no on-threatening way so I’m Not shut out. My distress caused some to close the door on me. I’ll learn better. I’m continuing to read twice at least here. I’ll get better w confrontation without anger .
It was most definitely racism and misogyny that drove Harris' loss.
Linda, I am so sorry. It is horrible, as racism always is. And of course sexism. At least Kamala was obviously younger and more vigorous that T the Terrible. As an old woman, I had thought more people would see how old he was, if nothing else (he lies like he breathes and is a proven despicable degenerate, and more and more obviously he is mentally ill). I know that while I voted for Joe Biden last time, of course, and consider him to have saved us (along with Kamala) at that time, his age did work against him a lot. And as an old woman, I KNOW that almost no one over 70 could be up to the rigors of a hard job like the Presidency.
I see the election as another fall of civilization, like the sacking of Rome ended that civilization, classical culture, and brought on the Dark Ages. A time of superstition and city states run by tyrants. Resistance is of course vital. Unfortunately our devolution is not alone. The mass migration precipitated by climate change will accelerate and amplify the collapse, the cries for a strong man to lead and protect. Shit.