Barbie and the Beast

“In 48 hours, we will have a government of the Ken, by the Ken, and for the Ken.”

My daughter wanted to watch the Barbie movie. We have seen it at least a dozen times, but in times like these, I don’t mind. Girl power. Woman-centered. Female rage.

I don’t recommend watching the movie right now, though. It’s triggering.

This election has pushed many of us to the realization that things aren’t what we thought, what we expected, or what we wanted. It’s a gut punch.

It’s not that my team didn’t win. It is that I have been listening to what the opposition has in store for us in the next few years. I don’t need to make up scenarios. I have read Project 2025. I am not wearing a tin-foil hat or espousing conspiracy theories. I am reading and listening.

This must be a difficult time for the historians.

You’re not crazy. Neither am I.

Kamala. Kamala. Kamala.

What did she do wrong? What did the Democrats do wrong? Why is this her fault and how can we prove it is her fault rather than seeing the angry and often ignorant electorate that is staring us back in the face.

I’m tired of it. I don’t want to hear one more person talk about what she could have done. Should have done. Didn’t do. And, does any of it matter if that was our last free election?

It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we're always doing it wrong.

You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean. You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas. You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman but also always be looking out for other people.

You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining. You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood.

But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful.

You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It's too hard! It's too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.

I'm just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don't even know.

~Monologue, Greta Gerwig

America Ferrera. The Barbie Movie.

I have had hundreds of folks in my DMs and in my email and on my social media apps since Tuesday night. Some want to talk about weird election results and vote counts. Some want to talk about running away. Some want to cry and need someone else to know.

I see you, friends.

But I don’t see any reason to dissect an election that has been conceded. I don’t know how many times we can keep cutting up and laying open the authoritarianism so many voters voted for. The fascism they asked for. The dictator they blessed with a Presidency.

Let me be plain for a minute. My team knocked thousands of doors and rarely did anyone answer. We called thousands of voters and usually got a voicemail. Not many in my part of the world are interested in talking politics with someone who disagrees with them.

Cognitive dissonance is uncomfortable.

I got most of my interaction on social media — good and bad. I think times are changing and I think that because there was no real ground game for Trump and yet he won not only the Electoral College, but also the popular vote. They wanted this.

Instead of a ground game, there were rallies and a constant wave of disinformation and lies spread online.

My folks get their news from Facebook and TikTok. They are Boomers — I think the TikTok thing is missed by so many. Their friends also get their news from Facebook and TikTok. Many of them still listen to Fox News, but right-wing YouTube has a strangle-hold on this generation as well.

*My own Gen X contemporaries are not exempt from easily disproven lies. No generation is.

When all of this propaganda combines, the result is unbelievable.

I was sitting next to a family member when she opened up her TikTok app and I was immediately taken into a dark place. Her volume was on high and I heard something about “red pill” nation. I sat closer and saw disinformation about vaccines and abortion and immigration and the economy. In less than five minutes, she had a diet of lies that would sustain her.

She is paranoid. She is a tool for the right. She took those lies and fed them to her neighbors who then “did their own research.” This is called confirmation bias, and I told her so, and she looked at me like I was crazy. Of course I am the one who is uninformed. She has all of the information on that little black box in her pocket.

I hate to say this, but it’s true: Ignorance won. And it will keep winning until we realize that we can’t win by playing politics as usual. This isn’t the same world. Knocking 100 doors is a personal connection that might win a small race — I don’t know that it can change the larger races. Trump’s folks weren’t knocking doors. They were lying to the masses through an extreme right-wing reality that most of us can’t conceive.

We don’t live in the same world, much less the same reality.

What do we do from here? I am following the advice of Timothy Snyder. One of his lessons is to have a private life. That may mean going off some social media platforms.

I started with Twitter. I deleted my account with over 150K followers because Elon Musk did exactly what he wanted to do with his multi-billion dollar purchase — spread lies about the opposing party. He won an election.

The app has devolved in the last two years, but the last two weeks have been unbearable. I have always had a few death threats here and there, but in the last few days, I started getting constant rape threats. After Tuesday, the mantra of the bots and the incels is “Your body, my choice.”

I actually preferred the death threats.

I am reading everything I can on authoritarians. I hear the Civil Rights activists’ words and I remember their actions.

I don’t know how effective throwing sand in the gears will be, but I will come out of the gate swinging. I know if we are ready, if we refuse to bury our heads, if we are out in our communities making ties with others, it will be much harder to get truly horrible things up and going. If nothing else, make it harder for them to achieve their goals.

If millions of us create daily nuisances, we might be able to irritate and wear down some of those trying to carry out an awful agenda.

The first Trump term was a trial run. His administration knows what they want to do and they will act quickly, but that doesn’t mean we acquiesce. If you’ve ever struggled in your life, now is the time to dig down and remember just how you got out of it.

Remember that we will face this together and there are at least 70 million of us who didn’t sign up for this shit. Stand up if you can. Prepare for the policies they have said they will enact.

Don’t let anxiety win. Don’t give up.

We have no choice but to be prepared.

~Jess