My goodness Jess, I always knew that we were kindred spirits, but the similarities in our journeys is astounding! I grew up in a tiny town, 300, in Colorado. I left for college and never went back! It’s still beautiful, the mountains, the rivers…..but I can’t see past the maga hate, the Trump and Boebert signs, the absolute hatred of “others”, even though Vail is run by those very hard working “others”. I am so sorry for our losses, but proud to stand with you in being “the problem”. I got kicked out of bible study in second grade, for questioning, and have been on a mission ever since, according to my Mom! Your courage inspires me!!! Thank you!!!
Lisa, you should have received a prize for being smart enough to question what you were told anywhere, when it didn't fit with truth, logic, or compassion. You were one impressive second grader. Hats off to you!
I relate so much to you Lisa and this article and it gives me hope there are other littles ones with the eyes, ears, minds and hearts open enough to question like we did. I grew up in Weirsdale in Central Florida’s failing citrus belt (before the neighboring Villages was anything more than a trailer park). My grandparents helped raise me and I pushed back on their occasional racist remarks and my heart broke when my grandfather told my grandma in earshot that he no longer knew who I was and that college had poisoned me for questioning our country in the days after 9/11. Sad that now UF (and all public schools here from elementary to college) are being unfunded or pushed into political and religious dark places that no longer enlighten and advance the mind.
After college I left for NYC and Los Angeles but I came back and after losing my mom and sister, I moved back to the exact area I grew up in because my broken heart needed to play in the dirt and sunshine we grew up in. The First Baptist church where I attended Sunday school (and questioned it, too) is literally directly across the street. I have only been back about three years so who knows if I can hold to it, but I am planting fruit trees and fighting like hell to make my hometown even incrementally better.
My cousins next door are pretty open minded and are struggling so hard to keep afloat they don’t have energy or time to pay attention to politics or vote no matter how hard I try to convince them it matters. Their son’s good ol’ boy boss just tried to intimidate him into letting him vote FOR him. So I have my pink-fisted Kamala sign and American flag and LGBTQ+ out front and as a single, queer identifying 40-something childless cat (and dog) lady I am nervous for my safety.
But when my “yankee” friends tell me I am crazy to stay here, it kind of pisses me off. I was born here. My mom was born here. My grandparents left West Virginia in the 40s for better opportunities here and they helped build this area. My grandfather worked up to be a general contractor and helped build schools, amusement parks, museums … and me. Now the state is becoming a “Florida Man” joke to some of the elite thinkers just like Appalachia and other rural areas and this substack and Jess’s words hit me in the feels because she so truly gets it. Anyone who can’t go home or needs to leave, I completely understand.
Please stay!! Your community needs your positive energy, generational history & love of community. It is hard AND worth the work/fight. It will get better ❤️
You may be from Arkansas but your story is the same for many of us including me from Dayton Ohio. My final move, to France, has led me to a place where I feel "home" in both a city, country, and continent (the European Union) where people still treat other people with respect, where the government provides a large social safety net that includes health care for everyone, and lives up to the three guiding principles Egality, Liberty, and Fraternity. As an American with family in the US including Missouri, I still care greatly, but at my age, I can no longer mentally live with the ugliness, harassment, and constant worrying about what my Republican neighbors might do to me next. I so appreciate your efforts and we need for you to keep up the work so my family will be safe.
I am not and do not recommend everyone pack up and move to France. Instead, I recommend people work to change the policies of the US, as you are working so hard to do. In France, and Germany, and Spain, and most of the other EU countries where life is arguably better, the stress of worrying about going bankrupt in medical debt, high taxes (the price listed in a store, restaurant, on Amazon is the price because taxes were included), guns and school shootings, housing costs, and on and on does not exist. The taxes paid by corporations and individuals pay for the safety net instead of the CEO and shareholders. So, the government ensures everyone is taken care of. There are some who need additional help and that is accounted for. Americans have been lied to over and over. It can work like it does in France. At this point in history, the US has slipped from its' position of best places to live. It may be the best place to become a Billionaire but that is not everyone's goal. The United States could have universal health care for all and it is shocking the US does not. But then, the US is much more concerned with Capitalism and profits than the people. Kamala Harris is the only choice and the only candidate focused on taking care of the people. https://www.statista.com/statistics/283221/per-capita-health-expenditure-by-country/
My sister moved to France over two years ago — retired and just said au revoir à l’Amérique! She hasn’t looked back, notwithstanding serious travails with jumping through tax law hoops, both French and Cy and American. Much better place for her health, mental and physical. Bon courage, mes amis.
The average European CEO makes 50 times that of a worker. In the US, CEOs make 435 times the salary of their workers and live in splendid gated communities apart from the rest of us. In the '50s it was not like that. We've morphed into an oligarchy.
I moved to France too for the civilized life. I have a childhood (from 4th grade) & a college friend that live near my Dad where I “can” go home, but that’s not a life I want to live anymore. It’s said that you can’t ever go home. We are all solitary travelers, even if we have spouses, children & friends. Seal your joy & you will find it. Just from your writing it seems you’re doing just that.
I'm considering a move as well...the United States doesn't feel united anymore and that's a sad thing. Maybe it never was united, but the rift seems extreme now and incurable.
Yes I remember when a Republican president (Bush senior) wanted 'a kinder gentler America'. But with trump and MAGA that seems like ancient history now. Maybe if we can get rid of the amplifier of animosity, in this election, we can return to making America better for everyone.
I always felt "at home" in Europe, and coming back here was always a tough adjustment. I worry for my lesbian granddaughter--the apple of my eye--and for the future of my four grandkids. So much so that when my son decided to return from working overseas for many years, I suggested he might try Canada, having dual citizenship. He did, and we are relieved, even though it's harder to visit than if he lived here in NY. Our family has been here since 1635, and I served this country for 30 years in the military and foreign service--but sometimes I just don't recognize it.
California is the most supportive state for LGBTQ and according to my French tutor, her trans niece is getting the care she needs in the state but fears other places. That is global though and I am thankful for the few places that are supportive.
I've been considering France as an alternate home if Trump wins, despite the reported recent political troubles with the far right there. Any words of advice?
Be 100% sure you want to move so you do not find yourself moving back. It takes both a push and a pull, not a snap decision. Research, research, research using google and the French government websites, and do not pay attention to the advice of people on Facebook.
Stay angry, Little Meg.. and grieve of course .. and know you are profoundly loved accepted and held by so many of us on your life journey. Thank you for embracing us in
This piece so resonates deep into my soul. Like you, I have lost friends, past co-workers, and family members to Trump and MAGA. What hurts the most is the loss of my relationship with my only child, my daughter and, unfortunately, my beautiful granddaughter. I will go to my grave wondering how these people I loved and respected could relish in their support of such an incompetent, evil moron. How is it possible, I wonder, that they see and hear the same things I do but come to the conclusion that the MAGA movement will "save" America and not destroy it? You are a breath of fresh air to this 69 year-old man. You give me hope that "good" will prevail. YOU are a hero to countless of us who benefit from your work and words of wisdom. Stay strong and know that you are on the right side of history.
Bless you, Bob, for being the model of integrity for your daughter, granddaughter, and the rest of us. It may be that your daughter is not actually seeing & hearing the same things you are, which is a huge problem for our country. It is likely they are in a bubble that tells them what to think and supports their agreement with them. No critical thinking. No questioning. No doubting. I'm so sorry they got trapped and left you behind. Don't give up on them. It took 40 years for my mother to even consider that LGBTQ people are not perversions (I'm a lesbian woman), so I know that a crack in the "hate veneer" might happen. Stay strong!
You are a hero. You do not have to go home to be a hero. You have to make a difference to be a hero. I grew up in Georgia. I could go back. People have not totally rejected me, but I am not going back except possibly once more to a camellia on each of my parents grave. If I wait much longer I probably might not make that. I do not feel like a hero, but I have made a difference. I have fought for justice since my 20’s. I have not accomplished what you have but I am here to say, in my book, you are definitely a hero.
Your journey resonates with many of us. Returning(as I must)to places still beautiful, but Trump signs, confederate flags on trucks, meth labs&victims in their wake everywhere.
Same. I miss my best friend and family that have blocked me. I grieve for our shared history that they are no longer willing to acknowledge. But I know I’m on the right side of history, and I’m happy to be here with all of you. You all make the journey bearable, and sometimes, even joyous.
What a terrible thing this whole MAGA, Christian Nationalist, Project 2025 has done to us. It has taken children from parents as surely as the Trump boarder policy did. We may get rid of Trump, but we have a long road to go to get back to any semblance of democracy - in the Federal government AND in Red States.
The pain you carry is awful. Writing this piece must wreck you. Take care of yourself, allow the people and things that fuel and sustain you. You are respected by many. Be well.
What a community you have here, Jess Piper, centered around one authentic voice in a call and response with similar others from outside your home geography.
Not having a home that we can *really* go back to, is what has made some of us who we are — strong AND vulnerable; sharp, able to sniff out wishy -washiness and roll up the sleeves when things need to get done. I’ve been there and done that — everything you have had to go through — only, my reasons were different, my places different, the details of my sorrow and anger, different. It is necessary to go through the anger and cry out the sense of loss and, I promise you that the time will come when clarity, strength and purpose alone will prevail, the anger shed like an old snakeskin. It will be liberating and your glow will light up the world of those in need of your goodness.
I have a very similar story..I was just thinking yesterday how I was affected by changing schools every year until high school, learning early that nothing is permanent and walling off any real attachments with people. Most of my extended family are rural Trump supporters, we have occasional cordial contact on social media but I haven’t seen them in years. Thanks for sharing your story and being the hero where you are!
Who needs heroes when we can have fellow-travellers who express their thoughts and feelings so beautifully!
My goodness Jess, I always knew that we were kindred spirits, but the similarities in our journeys is astounding! I grew up in a tiny town, 300, in Colorado. I left for college and never went back! It’s still beautiful, the mountains, the rivers…..but I can’t see past the maga hate, the Trump and Boebert signs, the absolute hatred of “others”, even though Vail is run by those very hard working “others”. I am so sorry for our losses, but proud to stand with you in being “the problem”. I got kicked out of bible study in second grade, for questioning, and have been on a mission ever since, according to my Mom! Your courage inspires me!!! Thank you!!!
Lisa, you should have received a prize for being smart enough to question what you were told anywhere, when it didn't fit with truth, logic, or compassion. You were one impressive second grader. Hats off to you!
I relate so much to you Lisa and this article and it gives me hope there are other littles ones with the eyes, ears, minds and hearts open enough to question like we did. I grew up in Weirsdale in Central Florida’s failing citrus belt (before the neighboring Villages was anything more than a trailer park). My grandparents helped raise me and I pushed back on their occasional racist remarks and my heart broke when my grandfather told my grandma in earshot that he no longer knew who I was and that college had poisoned me for questioning our country in the days after 9/11. Sad that now UF (and all public schools here from elementary to college) are being unfunded or pushed into political and religious dark places that no longer enlighten and advance the mind.
After college I left for NYC and Los Angeles but I came back and after losing my mom and sister, I moved back to the exact area I grew up in because my broken heart needed to play in the dirt and sunshine we grew up in. The First Baptist church where I attended Sunday school (and questioned it, too) is literally directly across the street. I have only been back about three years so who knows if I can hold to it, but I am planting fruit trees and fighting like hell to make my hometown even incrementally better.
My cousins next door are pretty open minded and are struggling so hard to keep afloat they don’t have energy or time to pay attention to politics or vote no matter how hard I try to convince them it matters. Their son’s good ol’ boy boss just tried to intimidate him into letting him vote FOR him. So I have my pink-fisted Kamala sign and American flag and LGBTQ+ out front and as a single, queer identifying 40-something childless cat (and dog) lady I am nervous for my safety.
But when my “yankee” friends tell me I am crazy to stay here, it kind of pisses me off. I was born here. My mom was born here. My grandparents left West Virginia in the 40s for better opportunities here and they helped build this area. My grandfather worked up to be a general contractor and helped build schools, amusement parks, museums … and me. Now the state is becoming a “Florida Man” joke to some of the elite thinkers just like Appalachia and other rural areas and this substack and Jess’s words hit me in the feels because she so truly gets it. Anyone who can’t go home or needs to leave, I completely understand.
Please stay!! Your community needs your positive energy, generational history & love of community. It is hard AND worth the work/fight. It will get better ❤️
Stay strong!
You’re doing the real work. Good on ya mate!
Ditto
You may be from Arkansas but your story is the same for many of us including me from Dayton Ohio. My final move, to France, has led me to a place where I feel "home" in both a city, country, and continent (the European Union) where people still treat other people with respect, where the government provides a large social safety net that includes health care for everyone, and lives up to the three guiding principles Egality, Liberty, and Fraternity. As an American with family in the US including Missouri, I still care greatly, but at my age, I can no longer mentally live with the ugliness, harassment, and constant worrying about what my Republican neighbors might do to me next. I so appreciate your efforts and we need for you to keep up the work so my family will be safe.
❤️
I am not and do not recommend everyone pack up and move to France. Instead, I recommend people work to change the policies of the US, as you are working so hard to do. In France, and Germany, and Spain, and most of the other EU countries where life is arguably better, the stress of worrying about going bankrupt in medical debt, high taxes (the price listed in a store, restaurant, on Amazon is the price because taxes were included), guns and school shootings, housing costs, and on and on does not exist. The taxes paid by corporations and individuals pay for the safety net instead of the CEO and shareholders. So, the government ensures everyone is taken care of. There are some who need additional help and that is accounted for. Americans have been lied to over and over. It can work like it does in France. At this point in history, the US has slipped from its' position of best places to live. It may be the best place to become a Billionaire but that is not everyone's goal. The United States could have universal health care for all and it is shocking the US does not. But then, the US is much more concerned with Capitalism and profits than the people. Kamala Harris is the only choice and the only candidate focused on taking care of the people. https://www.statista.com/statistics/283221/per-capita-health-expenditure-by-country/
My sister moved to France over two years ago — retired and just said au revoir à l’Amérique! She hasn’t looked back, notwithstanding serious travails with jumping through tax law hoops, both French and Cy and American. Much better place for her health, mental and physical. Bon courage, mes amis.
The average European CEO makes 50 times that of a worker. In the US, CEOs make 435 times the salary of their workers and live in splendid gated communities apart from the rest of us. In the '50s it was not like that. We've morphed into an oligarchy.
I moved to France too for the civilized life. I have a childhood (from 4th grade) & a college friend that live near my Dad where I “can” go home, but that’s not a life I want to live anymore. It’s said that you can’t ever go home. We are all solitary travelers, even if we have spouses, children & friends. Seal your joy & you will find it. Just from your writing it seems you’re doing just that.
I'm considering a move as well...the United States doesn't feel united anymore and that's a sad thing. Maybe it never was united, but the rift seems extreme now and incurable.
Yes I remember when a Republican president (Bush senior) wanted 'a kinder gentler America'. But with trump and MAGA that seems like ancient history now. Maybe if we can get rid of the amplifier of animosity, in this election, we can return to making America better for everyone.
I'm jealous.
Isn’t it sad? I feel the same way as you. If I could move I would move to Europe too. Too much hatred going around …..
I always felt "at home" in Europe, and coming back here was always a tough adjustment. I worry for my lesbian granddaughter--the apple of my eye--and for the future of my four grandkids. So much so that when my son decided to return from working overseas for many years, I suggested he might try Canada, having dual citizenship. He did, and we are relieved, even though it's harder to visit than if he lived here in NY. Our family has been here since 1635, and I served this country for 30 years in the military and foreign service--but sometimes I just don't recognize it.
California is the most supportive state for LGBTQ and according to my French tutor, her trans niece is getting the care she needs in the state but fears other places. That is global though and I am thankful for the few places that are supportive.
I've been considering France as an alternate home if Trump wins, despite the reported recent political troubles with the far right there. Any words of advice?
Be 100% sure you want to move so you do not find yourself moving back. It takes both a push and a pull, not a snap decision. Research, research, research using google and the French government websites, and do not pay attention to the advice of people on Facebook.
Thank you. A bientot!
Stay angry, Little Meg.. and grieve of course .. and know you are profoundly loved accepted and held by so many of us on your life journey. Thank you for embracing us in
So true, you are a hero
And a soothsayer and a great leader
For so many of us hauling our stuff
Along this sister-path.
And your Love Guides Us All
Shine, Sister, Shine !
This piece so resonates deep into my soul. Like you, I have lost friends, past co-workers, and family members to Trump and MAGA. What hurts the most is the loss of my relationship with my only child, my daughter and, unfortunately, my beautiful granddaughter. I will go to my grave wondering how these people I loved and respected could relish in their support of such an incompetent, evil moron. How is it possible, I wonder, that they see and hear the same things I do but come to the conclusion that the MAGA movement will "save" America and not destroy it? You are a breath of fresh air to this 69 year-old man. You give me hope that "good" will prevail. YOU are a hero to countless of us who benefit from your work and words of wisdom. Stay strong and know that you are on the right side of history.
Bless you, Bob, for being the model of integrity for your daughter, granddaughter, and the rest of us. It may be that your daughter is not actually seeing & hearing the same things you are, which is a huge problem for our country. It is likely they are in a bubble that tells them what to think and supports their agreement with them. No critical thinking. No questioning. No doubting. I'm so sorry they got trapped and left you behind. Don't give up on them. It took 40 years for my mother to even consider that LGBTQ people are not perversions (I'm a lesbian woman), so I know that a crack in the "hate veneer" might happen. Stay strong!
You are a hero. You do not have to go home to be a hero. You have to make a difference to be a hero. I grew up in Georgia. I could go back. People have not totally rejected me, but I am not going back except possibly once more to a camellia on each of my parents grave. If I wait much longer I probably might not make that. I do not feel like a hero, but I have made a difference. I have fought for justice since my 20’s. I have not accomplished what you have but I am here to say, in my book, you are definitely a hero.
Ethel, beautiful thoughts & writing. Good night now on Monday 10/28.
Your journey resonates with many of us. Returning(as I must)to places still beautiful, but Trump signs, confederate flags on trucks, meth labs&victims in their wake everywhere.
You are a hero. You use your voice to speak out.
Truly brave.
Same. I miss my best friend and family that have blocked me. I grieve for our shared history that they are no longer willing to acknowledge. But I know I’m on the right side of history, and I’m happy to be here with all of you. You all make the journey bearable, and sometimes, even joyous.
What a terrible thing this whole MAGA, Christian Nationalist, Project 2025 has done to us. It has taken children from parents as surely as the Trump boarder policy did. We may get rid of Trump, but we have a long road to go to get back to any semblance of democracy - in the Federal government AND in Red States.
I am in awe of you, especially now that I know the price you are paying. Thank you for all the hard work you do. You inspire me.
Yes you are, Jess. As are we all.
You yes, Jess you are a hero. My heartfelt thanks to you🥰
The pain you carry is awful. Writing this piece must wreck you. Take care of yourself, allow the people and things that fuel and sustain you. You are respected by many. Be well.
What a community you have here, Jess Piper, centered around one authentic voice in a call and response with similar others from outside your home geography.
Not having a home that we can *really* go back to, is what has made some of us who we are — strong AND vulnerable; sharp, able to sniff out wishy -washiness and roll up the sleeves when things need to get done. I’ve been there and done that — everything you have had to go through — only, my reasons were different, my places different, the details of my sorrow and anger, different. It is necessary to go through the anger and cry out the sense of loss and, I promise you that the time will come when clarity, strength and purpose alone will prevail, the anger shed like an old snakeskin. It will be liberating and your glow will light up the world of those in need of your goodness.
I have a very similar story..I was just thinking yesterday how I was affected by changing schools every year until high school, learning early that nothing is permanent and walling off any real attachments with people. Most of my extended family are rural Trump supporters, we have occasional cordial contact on social media but I haven’t seen them in years. Thanks for sharing your story and being the hero where you are!
Oh you are most definitely a hero. In every sense of the word. Thank you for your good work. ❤️