"Protecting Women"

Your body. My choice.

“Well, I’m going to do it, whether the women like it or not. I’m going to protect women.”

~Donald Trump

I was raised as a Baptist, and depending on where I was living at the time, it was often a Southern Baptist flavor. The strictest form of the denomination.

My grandpa was a strict adherent to the faith and believed that women should dress in skirts or dresses. I had a collection of prairie dresses and jumpers. They hit mid-calf or lower to keep my shins from making my brothers in Christ stumble. My shirts were buttoned high so my shoulders didn’t tempt men even though I was a child.

My grandpa thought we shouldn’t cut our hair and we shouldn’t wear makeup. He didn’t like women wearing jeans, but he approved of culottes if we needed to do something immodest like ride a bike or work outside.

This reminds me of something…

I watched a video several months ago with Christian nationalist and Missouri State Representative Justin Sparks. He started off the conversation about talking about having a large family and not cheating on his wife. Weird, but then he spoke at length about not being able to concentrate at the gym because of the “gals” and their clothing at the gym.

“It’s not even like they’re dressed to workout. It’s ridiculous some of the stuff that the gals are wearing. And it’s funny because you can see that…the guys that are just there for that reason. Not even there for any other reason other than to look at girls. And then a gal’s gonna come in? I’m gonna look at the trusses in the ceiling today…I’m gonna look at the other side of the gym. There is nothing over there, but I know what is not over there is some gal in ridiculous clothes in front of me.”

This makes me think a few things about Rep. Sparks, and the first one is how can he possibly represent women if he can’t concentrate if they have on a pair of shorts? He thinks “gals” need protection from men who have impure thoughts when they see a woman’s thigh or exposed back.

I grew up with men who were going to protect me whether I liked it or not and in general that meant they were going to monitor my comings and goings. They were going to monitor my dress and my speech and my hair and makeup. They were going to monitor my virginity and sexuality.

They had the final call on my life and my body.

“The Old Rugged Cross” and cross your legs. “Go Tell it on the Mountain” and then be quiet.

Be sweet. Obey.

Southern Baptist Church. Photo via Pastor Scott, Canva.

They were going to tell me how to behave and scorn me if anything happened to me because they told me what to do and if I were raped or assaulted, it was likely the jeans I had on or the way I showed off my shoulders. My fault.

They were going to “protect” me whether I liked it or not, and if I didn’t follow their commandments, I got what was coming to me.

Your body. My choice.

Women in countries like Afghanistan and Iran and Sudan and Syria are protected whether they like it or not. You are familiar with their plights and their codes and their forced way of living…they are being “protected” whether they like it or not.

You likely recognize that there are men in our own country who would like to “protect” American women in much of the same manner. There are men on the right-wing fringe who have openly spoken of revoking the 19th amendment. There are men in the mainstream GOP who openly speak of forced birth and ending no-fault divorce.

It is not protection. It is predatory.

Women's rights in some countries are not respected: restricted freedom of movement, restrictive dress codes, no protection from male sexual violence, forced marriage, and forced birth. Women in these countries can’t vote. They can’t attend school. They can’t raise their voices in public. They are openly discriminated against and have been pressed out of politics and life outside of their homes.

These women are being “protected.” Or so the men in government and the religions they are in partnership with will tell you.

The Taliban will swear that forcing women into burkas protects women just like the GOP will swear that abortion bans protect women. They both use their religion to mistreat and oppress women. They both harm women while suggesting they are protecting women.

Republicans, and those who will be part of the Trump administration, talk non-stop of groomers and pedophiles and rapists while nominating alleged groomers and pedophiles and rapists for roles in government.

Republican lawmakers want to “protect” us from trans women in bathrooms while they elevate an adjudicated sexual abuser to the highest office in the land. A man who brags about grabbing random women by the p*ssy.

Republican lawmakers want to “protect” us from immigrants while Trump picked a man to be in his cabinet accused of child trafficking — Matt Gaetz has since withdrawn his nomination for AG.

Trump’s pick for the Health and Human Services, RFK Jr, was accused by a former nanny of sexual abuse. Eliza Cooney said RFK Jr approached her from behind in a kitchen pantry and started groping her, sliding his hands from her hips to the sides of her breasts. While doing so, he was blocking her exit out of the small room.

Trump’s nominee for Defense Secretary, Pete Hegseth, has a credible allegation of rape against him. A California woman told police that Pete Hegseth physically blocked her from leaving a hotel room, took her phone, and then sexually assaulted her. Hegseth entered into a settlement agreement with his accuser that included an undisclosed monetary payment and a confidentiality clause.

Trump’s nominee for the Secretary of Education, Linda McMahon is alleged to have knowingly enabled the sexual exploitation of children during her time at the WWE. She is accused of failing to stop a ringside announcer for World Wrestling Entertainment from grooming and sexually abusing children in the 1980s and 1990s. The suit says the McMahons were aware of credible abuse accusations against the ringside announcer and tolerated them anyway.

And, these are just four examples from the Trump Cabinet picks. Just four. How many sexual and serial abusers will end up working in this administration? All while claiming this administration will “protect” women?

Women aren’t safe when abusers are elevated to positions of power. Women aren’t safe when essential healthcare is banned. Women aren’t safe when men say we shouldn’t have the vote or we should “step aside” in the workplace.

Women aren’t safe in Trump’s America.

I know this intimately because I grew up in misogyny…in the church. I internalized it for years. I thought I was truly being protected until I didn’t want the protection anymore and then I found out what it truly was.

I grew up with men who wanted to make me a second-class citizen and they did this by “protecting” me. By oppressing me. By marginalizing me. By abusing me.

I am not the only one…there are too many of us who have already learned this lesson.

They are not protecting us. We don’t need protection.

We need witnesses and allies.

~Jess