Misogyny in the Heartland

Did you know that pregnant women in Missouri can't finalize a divorce?

Sometimes, I feel like I am living in the dystopian novels I taught as an English teacher; 1984. Fahrenheit 451. The Handmaids Tale. Lord of the Flies. You know, the books they love to ban?

Image by: Jacob Moscovitch.

As noted in the Daisy Blog:

“At its core, dystopian literature is a genre of fiction that paints a picture of an imagined world where things are horribly wrong. These stories often explore themes of oppressive governmental control, environmental devastation, and the loss of individual freedoms.

The societies depicted in these works are typically marked by inequality and injustice. It's like looking at your worst nightmares through the lens of literature.”

I think about these novels when I read new legislation put forth by Missouri lawmakers, and when thinking of the laws we already have in place for Missouri women including a complete abortion ban.

While it is tough to ban what is already banned, the Missouri GOP has doubled down and offered two bills to charge Missouri women with Murder for an abortion in the 2024 session. *One bill has been recalled, but there is an identical bill in the Senate proposed by child-marriage advocate, Mike Moon.

In essence, this bill would grant fetal personhood.

Missouri has one functioning clinic in St Louis to obtain an abortion, but with all of the restrictions placed on the procedure, many patients are sent across the state line to Illinois. This might be an inconvenience to StL women and girls, but it is a six-hour long drive for folks in my part of the state. Poor and marginalized woman and girls are often forced to carry pregnancies to term when they can’t afford to leave the state to access an abortion.

Abortion bans are just the latest in policies that are aimed at Missouri women. A far more nefarious law has been on the books for years in Missouri…a pregnant woman cannot finalize a divorce in the state…not even an abused, pregnant woman.

I first found out about this law when I filed for divorce in the state in 2010. To state a fact, I was not abused, just in a failing relationship 16 years long. I met with an attorney and he let me explain my situation, said he was willing to represent me, and then asked me a very serious question: “You’re not pregnant, are you?”

Ummm…why?

Because in the State of Missouri, a pregnant woman cannot finalize a divorce. That’s why.

It was at that moment, I felt the rage of generations of women rise up in me. What does my pregnancy status have to do with seeking a divorce? Not only do I not have the privilege to make decisions about my body due to a total abortion ban, but Missouri courts won’t even recognize my ability to make a civil decision? What the hell is going on in this state?

There are eight questions asked of everyone filing for divorce in Missouri. One of them is whether “the wife is pregnant.” If the answer is yes, the divorce proceedings can continue if the attorney chooses, but cannot be finalized until the woman is no longer pregnant.

“That is because, according to Missouri statute, the court must first establish paternity of a child before a divorce can be finalized, said Shannon Gordon, a family law attorney practicing in Kansas City. Due to a statutory presumption that a baby born during a marriage is the child of the husband, a DNA test is often completed after the child is born in order to establish paternity in court. Then divorce proceedings can continue.”

Now, did you just get the feeling that paternity grants someone more rights than the person actually carrying a fetus? I sure did.

This archaic law is even more problematic when discussing women in abusive relationships. Even more so if a woman has been raped and impregnated by her husband. There are so many issues with not allowing women to make decisions about their bodies or their relationships while pregnant. Missouri women lose many rights when they become pregnant, and I feel like that’s the point.

Keep us in our place, right?

I think it’s important to remember the dystopian books we’ve all read…something has gone horribly wrong in states like Missouri. The control of women’s bodies is oppressive and unjust. Missouri women have lost the freedom to decide when and if we will become mothers at the same time that Missouri courts take away our ability to finalize a civil suit, because paternity is much more important that maternity. Apparently.

One of the solutions to the oppressive nature of the GOP supermajority is to demand bodily autonomy—the same autonomy granted to every male legislator in Jefferson City. The solution is to keep talking and writing and marching and running for office until women are equal citizens.

It can be hard to stay in this fight day after day while feeling the weight of the state bearing down on each woman and girl, but I will always remember one of my favorite lines from Margaret Atwood:

“Don't let the bastards grind you down.”

~Jess