Thank you for this piece. I fear my parents will have the same ending. The things they now believe are so disconnected from reality and they have started to shape their personalities in baffling, awful ways. I always say Fox News was a gateway drug that destroyed that generation.
Not the whole generation, if you're referring to boomers. There are MANY of us who remain aware of reality, vote every election, laugh (and cry) at faux news and are totally bewildered by the former friends and children who have become trumpites. It seems many old people become afraid -- afraid of getting old, afraid of losing..... whatever. I truly don't get it either.
As am I (72), but I still seek out others who live on Earth I (dem) and we keep our faith and trust alive, and still try (gently) to be a sane voice in a crazy world. We all believe that 2024 will redeem our faith in this democratic republic of ours for another 200+ years.
My husband and I are boomers too, and we have many friends even older than us who keep the faith in democracy. We read, read, read to stay on top of things. And never, ever watch Fox News. Don’t give up on folks just because we are older!
My husband and I are Boomers. He's black; I'm white. We're both graduated from college (I'm a retired metallurgical engineer; my husband has a BA in English literature and an MBA). We're very progressive, have no kids by choice, retired early, and have lived in the San Francisco Bay Area for several decades (I'm a native). We're close to our extended families on both sides, have many friends of different ages, do volunteer work, and mentor some young adults. We don't watch Faux News. We read voraciously and stay very engaged in geopolitics. We're lifelong learners and travel internationally for several months each year. The USA's slide into authoritarianism is absolutely repellant to us.
There’s a book called the brainwashing of my dad that talks about how the author’s father completely changed both politically and in personality. They were actually able to get him back but it involved a hospital stay and reprogramming the TV
I watched the documentary. It was very interesting. Even MY anger and hate for MAGA and family who are MAGA have lessened when I’ve stayed away from social media. Scary 🫣
Angry right-wing rabble-rousers spew hate this and hate that too, all over AM radio here in the former Northwest Territory. One progressive am station out of Chicago. The Rich Few "own the libs" in that market.
Jess, Kristin & Stephen, I’m truly sorry to hear about the tragic ending of your loved one’s life. It is beyond sad how too many are not thinking for themselves, fact checking and using wisdom but instead following unstable & evil individuals who are destroying lives! Such behavior isn’t being “woke” but instead being groomed to in jest the vile & twisted rhetoric causing sickness & sometimes death or further complicating one’s medical condition expediting a quicker death! America is on a slippery slope & we don’t perceive such!
Corporation money group lobbied 80s Reagan administration for airwave deregulation, so they could have their fox5 and got it in the 90s after lobbying fcc hard , then in 95 got their "entertainment channel license" NOT broadcast journalism, go to fcc look up their licensing, it's a show, not news. We did this as a class assignment in media literacy to look into how fauxs5 concept is a looks like news, informercial would be the best term to describe it, and then advertising from their sponsors in between...distraught people spend more easily. Advertisers know this stuff, so they agitate.
You don't have to vote for corporate proxies. Especially not at the local level. Participate in the grass roots. Vet the candidates. It takes work but that is thr only job u have in this political process. Be informed.
Most of us have no issue with change. Our constitution was meant to be amended to address growth & progress. Fox is the corporation that is enslaving you not the government (unless u vote for their proxies!) Vote smarter & support genuine people in your community not grifters sucking on the teet of corporate greed.
Thank you for writing this. I lost my mother suddenly in June of 2019 due to an aneurysm. She had graduated from the University of Missouri law school the same spring I graduated from high school, 1979, and became one of the first female attorneys in Greene County. She and my father divorced my freshmen year in college and she did not remarry until 1990. She succumbed to the brainwashing of Fox News against President Obama despite losing her entire retirement savings under the Bush economic crash; and then supported Trump. We could not discuss anything political because it would mean accepting things she stated as fact which were not true. I will never understand how such an intelligent, liberal woman who was ahead of her time was pulled into the MAGA abyss.
Stephen I feel for you. My mom passed away eighteen mom the ago. Same BS
Watching Fox all day long with my narcissistic stepfather.
Here is the catch, we live in Canada. This type of behavior can only be described as Cultish. Its a sad state of affairs when many people of the world get caught up in this type of evil.
My bro is in Canada and was a literal communist in his early 20s. Kind, sweet, helped anyone who needed it, even tho he had very little himself. Now, early 40s, he likes Trump, Joe Rogan, etc., hates feminists, thinks welfare is a waste,etc. I'm mystified, and miss who he used to be.
We don't speak anymore, although not only for thst reason.
Not easy to accomplish. One could say RINO: Republicans in name only
And one could also say PINO:Party In Name Only. Republicans are a party in name only.
When a person identifies with something ,anything, they are drawn in by a sense of belonging, there is euphoria , like a dopamine hit? Truth takes a back seat, everything takes a back seat to the party, and in this case the Leader of the party.
Like all cults there will be a moment when something or an action will precipitate the downfall of the cult.
What proof do I have to state they are a cult. Any one who was convicted of Sexual Assault and Fraud, on trial for insurrection , the document charges, election fraud charges. That normal person should not have two percent of voters intentions let alone fifty percent.
That In my humble opinion has all the hallmarks of a cult.
There is but one solution, which is driven by three guiding processes ,Legal, Electoral, and Psychological.
The legal aspect which must be guided by law without partisanship ( doubtful)
Electoral in that there must be an unequivocal and decisive win. (unquestionable) and lastly psychological that means changing peoples minds , winning over the electorate.
Democrats leave a lot to be desired in that respect ,their campaign messaging leaves a lot to be desired.
One other important note, the Media is playing to the beat of the Republicans? Certainly looks that way.That is very dangerous.
Please note when I say cult, it is not like a religious cult like the Catholic Church, Islam, Christianity, Hinduism...........
Nor is it like the cults headed by David Koresh or Jim Jones.
Should this cult prevail in the Nov election, then the future of the US and for that matter the world will be in danger. Once you go all the way down that rabbit hole, there may be no coming back.
💯. I cannot tell you the COUNTLESS times I have said that to women who support him... Never mind men. Like lambs to the slaughterhouse!
They don't even want to talk about how he's done nothing to defend the people who supported his rhetoric on January 6th he just left them all out there hanging. Trust me I didn't agree with anything that happened that day and it was this disgusting day in US history. But Trump has done nothing. Absolutely nothing to try and help those who were defending his rhetoric. Maybe we all don't get it because there is nothing logical here to get, it's insanity
Yeah. Anger and outrage are a great distraction from loneliness, loss of hope and feeling less-than. Then it can become like alcohol, where it’s your drug of choice and the only thing you know to reach for when the emotional pain inside threatens to overwhelm. And I think, as Chris Jones wrote, only those —I’ll say ‘luckiest’—of us have no inner vulnerability to this.
Great piece Jess. Only the very best of us are without demons of some kind waiting for an opportunity to surface. As you say this all didn’t start with Trump, but he invited these demons into the daylight and helped them prosper.
Thank you for your brave, raw honesty. It surely shadows a collective pain endured in so many families and relationships these days. Thank you for sharing your loving helpful insight. I am so sorry for your loss.
I second Chris’s remark. The most tragic part of the sweeping, deep stain that Trump has left on America is that he opened the door — and put out the welcome mat — for the most deranged, evil things that live inside the human soul. As with any disease, some people have unsuspected weaknesses that make them more vulnerable to it, and their numbers are legion. Even when Trump is finally gone, his victims will remain with us.
If it’s any consolation, Jess, think of your father as having been overwhelmed by dementia — his behavior actually sounds like it. (I know from deeply sad experience: personality changes, psychotic delusions, and all.) But his disease was NOT him, and please try not to let it rob you of your memories of the man he was before. My heart goes out to you.
I have a theory that this all sprung from the 2008 Presidential campaign when McCain defended Obama from the woman who told him “I can’t trust Obama. I have read about him, and he’s not, he’s not — he’s an Arab.” Somewhere, some political consultant saw that exchange and realized that was a sentiment that could be tapped into. And if she was willing to say it out loud on camera, how many silently felt that way? A few focus groups later and here comes Trump and all his rhetoric tapping into that demographic. And surprise! Hate and fear sells.
I think you're right. Trump didn't come out of nowhere. He's an opportunistic infection of our body politic. He exploited a weakness in Republican demographics, and the party let him do it because it was a winning issue. They may have thought they could control him, too.
Trump was the Hand Grenade candidate voted in by people who think "Owning the Libs" is more important than actually running the country or acting like the Leader of the Free World. Almost every mainstream Republican was opposed to him until it became clear he was getting the nomination. The miscalculation was the GOP thinking they could control him once he got the nomination. He is in effect the leader of a 3rd Party and is by no stretch a “Republican / Conservative”. The GOP is now the party of Trump for better or worse but there is no going back now. Kasich, Rubio or even Cruz could have beaten HRC in 2016. And any of them would have made the Conservative SCOTUS choices and been competent on COVID. And they would be in a second term right now. All things the GOP wanted, they picked the wrong guy. And they’ve done it again now. Watching Evangelicals twist themselves to justify their support in 2016 was quite comical, they made a deal with the Devil to get their agenda pushed forward by a guy who would have been a pariah under any other circumstance. They turned on Jimmy Carter for a Playboy interview but Trump gets a pass. The hypocrisy is stunning
I said the same thing today to one of my son’s friends rhetorically speaking, “Trump lifted up the rug and the roaches came out and now it’s time to put the rug back down.”
What a fantastic piece of journalism Jess. I live in the UK and have been lucky enough to not had any of the family problems that so many of you have all had.
I lived in the Mid West for two years and know what a wonderful country you have and how many lovely kind people you have as fellow citizens. You are right that it didn’t start with the Rump but he has been so influential and successful at bullying that we are where we are now. And it has infected a lot of my fellow citizens with similar hateful opinions. Wishing you and yours all the best for the future.
My MIL was a rational person until Trump. She died from COVID believing it was a hoax. We were not talking to her by that point and my husband basically feels abandoned. It is so horrible.
My father-in-law was one. The day before he passed, he said “I should’ve got the shots”. His daughter had begged him to, several times and he would make excuses or lies, saying his doc said to wait for the astra zenica (which is only in Europe). Anything to avoid getting that covid vax cuz Orange Jesus said so.
I'm sorry. My Mom started down that path- FOX on, if the tv was on. I started hearing very odd statements about just getting rid of teachers, welfare malingerers, etc. Luckily she does not live on her own and my stepdad was and is still anchored in reality. He would press to watch other news- they watch Deutsch Welle (my Mom was born in Germany) every night. That turned the tide. The world wasn't in awe of that man. The world was not laughing at Biden. She no longer watches FOX and her thoughts are kinder and more generous to others once again, but it was a close call. FOX is insidious. It captures the lonely, the all-day tv watchers. You and your dad were victims. I'm glad he saw the world through a clearer lens as he approached death, but I'm so sorry you lost those years with him.
This is my story too. The dad who taught me hard work and respect and who showed up for me every single time has lost the ability to discern who the bad guys are. None of us will discuss the hateful nonsense he sees on Fox all day with him. Rather than turn it off, or even consider that any of it might be wrong, he says “Well I guess we don’t have anything to talk about.” This has left my dad an isolated, depressed, and angry man in the middle off a family that loves him and wants to honor his sunset years. It is heartbreaking to all of us.
Willfull Ignorance is a growing epidemic in our country. Along with cognitive dissonance it is destroying opportunities for valuable discussion and and compromise.
Oh, Jess. I had the hardest time reading this - and typing this…. Because the tears flood my eyes. Your loss is so fresh. My mom passed nearly 12 years ago. But, I was lucky, because my only grandchild was born 6 weeks later. That helped me get through that first year. Yet, I don’t know if I will ever recover physically and mentally from her last 6 years. Alzheimer’s, a colostomy and a diaper, legally blind, and angry. I moved her from another state to my home. Then, her house was flooded. My siblings. Well, I cannot say our relationships survived it. I cared for my mother in my home for her last 6 years. I wasn’t able to work and the visiting nurse the last 2 years to assist with bathing+ was $96/hr due to the colostomy. I was so stressed I had a stroke. But still had to care for mom. Regardless of the hardships we went through… the moments when she was present were so precious… and heartbreaking as she wanted to know “where’s ___” and I didn’t want to tell her everyone she asked for was dead. There were also the nightmare moments… waking in a panic, taking her frustrations out on me physically (she reminded me size wise of Granny on the Beverly Hillbillies) - wiry but TOUGH.
Sorry this was so long.
My only surviving sibling is a raging MAGA. Our last get together/reunion was dinner after spreading ashes of another family member. I saw adult nieces and nephews and their families I hadn’t seen in over a decade.
Times have changed. We have to find a way to do better. But, it takes ALL of us.
I lost my dad in January. My parents had just spent over a week at our house for the holidays. He wasn’t in the best health, so we spent a lot of time just sitting and talking, when he wasn’t chauffeuring my children all over town and spoiling them rotten. Our last political conversation that he halfheartedly attempted to drag me into was about how much a Big Mac costs in California now because Biden pushed to raise the minimum wage. Neither of us really wanted to be in the argument, the Republican in him just had to poke the socialist bear before they went home. I replied, “something something record corporate profits, what would you like me to make for dinner?” He said he’d order us all dinner from his favorite Italian restaurant in our city, and that was that. Less than two weeks later he got an infection that went septic and died.
I’m glad that neither of us decided to make it A Whole Big Thing™ like we did at least once every single time they visited. Maybe on some level we knew it would be the last time we saw each other outside of the intensive care unit he wouldn’t make it out of alive. But he wasted a lot of time in his adulthood being an Angry Man, and even more time apologizing for being an Angry Man. Maybe he realized probably a little too late that it just wasn’t worth it anymore.
Beautifully written, and heartbreakingly real. I'm so, so sorry your family suffered from such an insidious blight on our country. I have so many family members, coworkers who I used to like, that I simply cannot respect anymore. Because they choose fear and hate over decency and love. The saddest thing is that they're still wonderful, caring people in so many ways. But they're forever tainted by this single yet all-encompassing choice: they believe in trump no matter what. It's their choice, and it's terrible. But they are all in.
I had a lovely coworker who voted for trump in 2016. It was so hard looking at her afterwards. We shared a hotel room during a convention a few years later. When she told me that she regretted her vote, and was no longer a supporter of his? I broke down and fucking cried from relief. It was a small victory, but a victory nonetheless!
It's the small victories that we have, and I truly hope that you continue to get them, Jess. Thank you for sharing your story. I know your dad is so proud of you!
Thank you. I could have written this. Although my father was an abuser all my life. I tried so hard to have a relationship with him. After Trump got elected he told me, "you need to get back to your Republican roots." In time he belittled me and my children so much for our viewpoints that it wasn't worth a relationship with him. He is still alive and I haven't spoken to him in 5 years. I will not attend his funeral. I have no respect for someone like him.
I get this so much. Dad was always abusive, but it took me until my late 30s to realise it. He's gotten more right-wing and less compassionate with age, and I had to cut him off in my early 40s for a few years because he was so awful to me. I tried again 5y ago, but after a while on best behaviour he went right back to criticising everything I am, do and value. 4y NC. I have no idea who he is now, and he never seems to have known who I was.
He reaches out every so often, but I already gave him a second chance. He doesn't get a third. The last rupture was horrendous for me. He's 83 now. Occasionally I think about him dying... But he's not someone I can have in my life. I'm much happier and more stable without him. So tragic.
Great, heartbreaking piece. I think MAGA has destroyed relationships for many of us. My sister seems to be coming back a bit - I avoided calling her because her rants were so disturbing, but last time she just talked about the grandkids. It’s terrible what damage one man has facilitated. I’m afraid the divisions will outlive him, with all the people profiting from antivax and the like. Thank you for writing this, Jess.
I’m so sorry, Jess. I’ve lost both of my brothers and my father to the crazy. Nothing I can do but live my life and hope that they find their way out before it’s time for them to go. Your story is so heartbreaking.❤️
Thank you for continuing to share all of your stories, Jess! I follow you on TikTok too and you have been a huge inspiration for me throughout this last year with everything you share.
I don’t have the same depth of story as you, but I understand the anguish that MAGA causes my own family. It hurts every day knowing that those you love have fallen for the lies of a movement that wants to hurt and destroy so many of us. It hits home every day and it causes pain and sadness every day.
This, just like every other message you put out, is so important - we have to do something and be something better. I can’t give up more family to this disease if there’s more that can be done to stop it!
This also happened to me, with my mother. She had COPD, was unhappy, and became addicted to Fox News at the beginning, but it became like a delusional system. Anyone who didn’t agree was out, including me. Thank you for writing about it, and all the great work you do for democracy.
My dad, a government employee his whole adult life, fell into the maga pit but was so angry about January 6 he changed his registration and stopped watching tv news. He was better for a year or so but is sliding back into maga and demonizing Dept Ed, higher ed (he was an engineer), government regulation (he has government retiree insurance & VA insurance & retirement benefits/disability from both agencies). This makes no sense to me, there is no logic, he hates the agencies that pay him the majority of his retirement & insurance costs and have allowed him his 40 years of retirement(he’s 93)? 🤦♀️ I’m tired of the rhetoric and the exhaustion I feel after spending time biting my tongue around him (and the rest of my family—but he affects me most). So I moved all the way across the country to escape the maga (a highly educated sister spouts qanon garbage in addition to maga). Very sad, but very much self preservation. I’ll be very sad when I lose him, but I imagine there will be a little relief and some anger (for other than maga reasons) might return. I feel for you, I’ve already had my dad 30 more years than you had yours and I’ve had time to let some of the old resentment and anger go. I can’t imagine how hard it is for you even now. 💔 I want to validate your anger and tell you it’s okay to have mixed feelings and that it’s okay to hold your appreciation for him and this sadness & anger in your heart at the same time. ((❤️))
Anything they have, it's easy for some people to take for granted as their right and thus neglect to understand. Then, you trash the system that's supporting you because you imagine you would have MORE if it wasn't for all those "undeserving" types.
Men and their creation called "corporation" antithesis of everything female energy; death destruction, greed, the "corporation" can be organized under various laws to produce it.
The identity that rests on the idea they are somehow “better” than other people, and thus “deserve” all the money and power, which is how they measure “worth”. People who have NEVER lacked the resources to acquire ALL their needs find it very easy to imagine that poor people only lack necessities out of their “poor judgment”. I’ll never forget Mitt Romney trying to tell an audience of laid-off workers how he knew how they felt, he was once in a position that forced him to sell some assets at a less than optimal time, thus “losing” the maximum potential income from the investment! Of course, there was never any question of him actually losing anything, like his home or medical care…. but he really seemed to think that “losing a little potential profit” was exactly like losing all your income… and therefore your food, shelter, health, and security.
Beautifully written. And painful to read. I lost my best friend. I miss her everyday. She just couldn’t understand me. I go to a church that accepts gays, I protested with BLM after the Floyd murder, and I voted for Biden.
We were Republicans for many years together, but I just couldn’t tow the Party line anymore. And she could. And, as far as I know, still does.
But, the story you tell is not so much about Trump as it is about the influence of the right-wing talk show media. To use a great line from the Godfather: Trump is a pimp…it was the radio talk show hosts all along. Mark Levine, Seb Gorka, Sean Hannity, Laura Ingraham, Bill O’Reilly, Dennis Prager and many others across the country who have been filling the heads of their listeners with anti-immigrant, anti-Muslim, anti-leftist, anti-NATO, anti-WHO, anti-gay/trans rhetoric for decades. They found their guy in Trump. Trump parrots their messaging. He is their stooge.
Yes. More about media than Trump. He was just such an amazing fit for the political play of the day. A willing collaborator.
I’m so sorry that you lost a close friend over this. Perhaps there will be a reckoning in which she comes to terms with what, exactly, she was supposedly supporting.
Rush Limbaugh was on the air for years, had a huge following & talked a lot of conspiracy theories, hate the “other” people, he pushed Trump & every terrible thing he stood for. After he died I think a lot of his loyal listeners went to faux. I can't understand how anyone can believe the trash & lies FAUX puts out over the air. I guess with 10+ years of psyops on the internet & Qanon conspiracies brought to the USA by Mile Flynn & the GRU some who dont have the ability to use common sense & critical thinking are bound to believe the unbelievable. Particularly those that are very religious, go to church that tells them what to do, how to live, what to believe, how to vote & etc. are easy marks to manipulate & make sure they believe maga is the way & Trumps their “chosen” guy no matter what he has done, crimes he is indicted for, convicted of & the plans to do to the USA if he returns to the WH. It's terrifying.
Thank you for this piece. I fear my parents will have the same ending. The things they now believe are so disconnected from reality and they have started to shape their personalities in baffling, awful ways. I always say Fox News was a gateway drug that destroyed that generation.
Not the whole generation, if you're referring to boomers. There are MANY of us who remain aware of reality, vote every election, laugh (and cry) at faux news and are totally bewildered by the former friends and children who have become trumpites. It seems many old people become afraid -- afraid of getting old, afraid of losing..... whatever. I truly don't get it either.
Ditto. We are in our seventies, avoid FOX like the plague.
As am I (72), but I still seek out others who live on Earth I (dem) and we keep our faith and trust alive, and still try (gently) to be a sane voice in a crazy world. We all believe that 2024 will redeem our faith in this democratic republic of ours for another 200+ years.
My husband and I are boomers too, and we have many friends even older than us who keep the faith in democracy. We read, read, read to stay on top of things. And never, ever watch Fox News. Don’t give up on folks just because we are older!
In reality, it would is the plague! Always presenting their biased news! It’s outright unAmerican
My husband and I are Boomers. He's black; I'm white. We're both graduated from college (I'm a retired metallurgical engineer; my husband has a BA in English literature and an MBA). We're very progressive, have no kids by choice, retired early, and have lived in the San Francisco Bay Area for several decades (I'm a native). We're close to our extended families on both sides, have many friends of different ages, do volunteer work, and mentor some young adults. We don't watch Faux News. We read voraciously and stay very engaged in geopolitics. We're lifelong learners and travel internationally for several months each year. The USA's slide into authoritarianism is absolutely repellant to us.
It sucks for those of us who have intelligent parents who go down this rabbit hole. Your analogy about Fox News as a gateway drug is excellent though.
Fox News is, indeed, a gateway drug!
There’s a book called the brainwashing of my dad that talks about how the author’s father completely changed both politically and in personality. They were actually able to get him back but it involved a hospital stay and reprogramming the TV
There’s also a documentary by the same name. It really helped explain to me how people (like my mom) get drug down the rabbit hole and brainwashed.
I watched the documentary. It was very interesting. Even MY anger and hate for MAGA and family who are MAGA have lessened when I’ve stayed away from social media. Scary 🫣
I think they made a documentary from that!
Fox News as a gateway drug is brilliant, a perfect description.
Fox News and if they listened to talk radio.
Angry right-wing rabble-rousers spew hate this and hate that too, all over AM radio here in the former Northwest Territory. One progressive am station out of Chicago. The Rich Few "own the libs" in that market.
Fox is a gateway drug is maybe the most coherent phrase yet.
My mom would have recognized the evil demon but thankfully she didn’t live to see his rise to power
Me too. My mom wouldn’t/couldn't even look at George W Bush on TV. T is so much worse. Agree 100%.
Jess, Kristin & Stephen, I’m truly sorry to hear about the tragic ending of your loved one’s life. It is beyond sad how too many are not thinking for themselves, fact checking and using wisdom but instead following unstable & evil individuals who are destroying lives! Such behavior isn’t being “woke” but instead being groomed to in jest the vile & twisted rhetoric causing sickness & sometimes death or further complicating one’s medical condition expediting a quicker death! America is on a slippery slope & we don’t perceive such!
Your comment was perfect until you typed that last word.
The government is us, not some nebulous “other”. Vote, participate, stop whining.
Democracy is not a spectator sport.
You believe the government is the people. It is not. You have no control. You are a slave of the media
You really think the government is chosen solely by the people.
The government IS the people. Like I said, put the work in and participate. And stop whining.
Poor you. So naive. Just vote harder
I am not complaining. What is your issue? Did you just need to denigrate someone just now? Poor you.
Corporation money group lobbied 80s Reagan administration for airwave deregulation, so they could have their fox5 and got it in the 90s after lobbying fcc hard , then in 95 got their "entertainment channel license" NOT broadcast journalism, go to fcc look up their licensing, it's a show, not news. We did this as a class assignment in media literacy to look into how fauxs5 concept is a looks like news, informercial would be the best term to describe it, and then advertising from their sponsors in between...distraught people spend more easily. Advertisers know this stuff, so they agitate.
Magas are a result of that aggitation.
I agree. No mainstream media outlet is good
Again, ur job to vet news sources and hold them accountable
Hard disagree
Nobody is a slave of the government. If you want change, you have every opportunity to make it
Poor you. So naive
You don't have to vote for corporate proxies. Especially not at the local level. Participate in the grass roots. Vet the candidates. It takes work but that is thr only job u have in this political process. Be informed.
Poor you. So cynical.
Yeah, they're playing you like a fiddle. How are you a slave of government?
Most of us have no issue with change. Our constitution was meant to be amended to address growth & progress. Fox is the corporation that is enslaving you not the government (unless u vote for their proxies!) Vote smarter & support genuine people in your community not grifters sucking on the teet of corporate greed.
They’re fed up with being the slaves of government but they continue to not pay attention and vote the same people in.
Slaves of the government?? give me a break!!!Are you collecting Social Security yet?
Thank you for writing this. I lost my mother suddenly in June of 2019 due to an aneurysm. She had graduated from the University of Missouri law school the same spring I graduated from high school, 1979, and became one of the first female attorneys in Greene County. She and my father divorced my freshmen year in college and she did not remarry until 1990. She succumbed to the brainwashing of Fox News against President Obama despite losing her entire retirement savings under the Bush economic crash; and then supported Trump. We could not discuss anything political because it would mean accepting things she stated as fact which were not true. I will never understand how such an intelligent, liberal woman who was ahead of her time was pulled into the MAGA abyss.
Stephen I feel for you. My mom passed away eighteen mom the ago. Same BS
Watching Fox all day long with my narcissistic stepfather.
Here is the catch, we live in Canada. This type of behavior can only be described as Cultish. Its a sad state of affairs when many people of the world get caught up in this type of evil.
My bro is in Canada and was a literal communist in his early 20s. Kind, sweet, helped anyone who needed it, even tho he had very little himself. Now, early 40s, he likes Trump, Joe Rogan, etc., hates feminists, thinks welfare is a waste,etc. I'm mystified, and miss who he used to be.
We don't speak anymore, although not only for thst reason.
It happens.
I have a good buddy in Long Island.
We communicate only via Email and only speak about hockey. Lol
Wise
Any thoughts on what’s an antidote against the wholesale consumption by a political cult?
Not easy to accomplish. One could say RINO: Republicans in name only
And one could also say PINO:Party In Name Only. Republicans are a party in name only.
When a person identifies with something ,anything, they are drawn in by a sense of belonging, there is euphoria , like a dopamine hit? Truth takes a back seat, everything takes a back seat to the party, and in this case the Leader of the party.
Like all cults there will be a moment when something or an action will precipitate the downfall of the cult.
What proof do I have to state they are a cult. Any one who was convicted of Sexual Assault and Fraud, on trial for insurrection , the document charges, election fraud charges. That normal person should not have two percent of voters intentions let alone fifty percent.
That In my humble opinion has all the hallmarks of a cult.
There is but one solution, which is driven by three guiding processes ,Legal, Electoral, and Psychological.
The legal aspect which must be guided by law without partisanship ( doubtful)
Electoral in that there must be an unequivocal and decisive win. (unquestionable) and lastly psychological that means changing peoples minds , winning over the electorate.
Democrats leave a lot to be desired in that respect ,their campaign messaging leaves a lot to be desired.
One other important note, the Media is playing to the beat of the Republicans? Certainly looks that way.That is very dangerous.
Please note when I say cult, it is not like a religious cult like the Catholic Church, Islam, Christianity, Hinduism...........
Nor is it like the cults headed by David Koresh or Jim Jones.
Should this cult prevail in the Nov election, then the future of the US and for that matter the world will be in danger. Once you go all the way down that rabbit hole, there may be no coming back.
Sadly, you are spot on sir!! 😢
Yep Sadly
I and my village of democrats still believe we will survive and thrive to destroy MAGA and faux nooz.
All we can do is speak truth to power.
Huge battles have been won this way.
Silence is complicity.
Regan eliminated the fairness doctrine. We start by fighting to bring it back.
The antidote to propaganda is truth.
Oh I’m very sorry for the pain this caused you. It is baffling that educated people (especially women) get bamboozled by tfg’s maga rhetoric!
And to think, Trump wouldn't give one shit about her if met her.
💯. I cannot tell you the COUNTLESS times I have said that to women who support him... Never mind men. Like lambs to the slaughterhouse!
They don't even want to talk about how he's done nothing to defend the people who supported his rhetoric on January 6th he just left them all out there hanging. Trust me I didn't agree with anything that happened that day and it was this disgusting day in US history. But Trump has done nothing. Absolutely nothing to try and help those who were defending his rhetoric. Maybe we all don't get it because there is nothing logical here to get, it's insanity
Loneliness. Fox becomes a substitute for friends and companions.
Yeah. Anger and outrage are a great distraction from loneliness, loss of hope and feeling less-than. Then it can become like alcohol, where it’s your drug of choice and the only thing you know to reach for when the emotional pain inside threatens to overwhelm. And I think, as Chris Jones wrote, only those —I’ll say ‘luckiest’—of us have no inner vulnerability to this.
I’m in the same boat with my mom right now.
Sorry for all you lost 😞
Great piece Jess. Only the very best of us are without demons of some kind waiting for an opportunity to surface. As you say this all didn’t start with Trump, but he invited these demons into the daylight and helped them prosper.
Exactly.
Thank you for your brave, raw honesty. It surely shadows a collective pain endured in so many families and relationships these days. Thank you for sharing your loving helpful insight. I am so sorry for your loss.
+1. You captured exactly what I wanted to say. Thank you
I second Chris’s remark. The most tragic part of the sweeping, deep stain that Trump has left on America is that he opened the door — and put out the welcome mat — for the most deranged, evil things that live inside the human soul. As with any disease, some people have unsuspected weaknesses that make them more vulnerable to it, and their numbers are legion. Even when Trump is finally gone, his victims will remain with us.
If it’s any consolation, Jess, think of your father as having been overwhelmed by dementia — his behavior actually sounds like it. (I know from deeply sad experience: personality changes, psychotic delusions, and all.) But his disease was NOT him, and please try not to let it rob you of your memories of the man he was before. My heart goes out to you.
I have a theory that this all sprung from the 2008 Presidential campaign when McCain defended Obama from the woman who told him “I can’t trust Obama. I have read about him, and he’s not, he’s not — he’s an Arab.” Somewhere, some political consultant saw that exchange and realized that was a sentiment that could be tapped into. And if she was willing to say it out loud on camera, how many silently felt that way? A few focus groups later and here comes Trump and all his rhetoric tapping into that demographic. And surprise! Hate and fear sells.
I think you're right. Trump didn't come out of nowhere. He's an opportunistic infection of our body politic. He exploited a weakness in Republican demographics, and the party let him do it because it was a winning issue. They may have thought they could control him, too.
Trump was the Hand Grenade candidate voted in by people who think "Owning the Libs" is more important than actually running the country or acting like the Leader of the Free World. Almost every mainstream Republican was opposed to him until it became clear he was getting the nomination. The miscalculation was the GOP thinking they could control him once he got the nomination. He is in effect the leader of a 3rd Party and is by no stretch a “Republican / Conservative”. The GOP is now the party of Trump for better or worse but there is no going back now. Kasich, Rubio or even Cruz could have beaten HRC in 2016. And any of them would have made the Conservative SCOTUS choices and been competent on COVID. And they would be in a second term right now. All things the GOP wanted, they picked the wrong guy. And they’ve done it again now. Watching Evangelicals twist themselves to justify their support in 2016 was quite comical, they made a deal with the Devil to get their agenda pushed forward by a guy who would have been a pariah under any other circumstance. They turned on Jimmy Carter for a Playboy interview but Trump gets a pass. The hypocrisy is stunning
Yes, Trump gave “permission “ for his followers to release long held biases and demons! He opened that floodgate!
I said the same thing today to one of my son’s friends rhetorically speaking, “Trump lifted up the rug and the roaches came out and now it’s time to put the rug back down.”
Fox News is ruining the lives of elderly people who embrace Trump's lies in their last remaining years. It is a travesty.
And how many people died because of Covid because Fox and Trump minimized the risk?
Exactly
What a fantastic piece of journalism Jess. I live in the UK and have been lucky enough to not had any of the family problems that so many of you have all had.
I lived in the Mid West for two years and know what a wonderful country you have and how many lovely kind people you have as fellow citizens. You are right that it didn’t start with the Rump but he has been so influential and successful at bullying that we are where we are now. And it has infected a lot of my fellow citizens with similar hateful opinions. Wishing you and yours all the best for the future.
My MIL was a rational person until Trump. She died from COVID believing it was a hoax. We were not talking to her by that point and my husband basically feels abandoned. It is so horrible.
I'm so sorry that happened to you and yours.
Hugs.
My father-in-law was one. The day before he passed, he said “I should’ve got the shots”. His daughter had begged him to, several times and he would make excuses or lies, saying his doc said to wait for the astra zenica (which is only in Europe). Anything to avoid getting that covid vax cuz Orange Jesus said so.
Betsy, is Fox ( news)
I dont think so,
Fox is to news what the National Enquirer is to journalisim.
I'm sorry. My Mom started down that path- FOX on, if the tv was on. I started hearing very odd statements about just getting rid of teachers, welfare malingerers, etc. Luckily she does not live on her own and my stepdad was and is still anchored in reality. He would press to watch other news- they watch Deutsch Welle (my Mom was born in Germany) every night. That turned the tide. The world wasn't in awe of that man. The world was not laughing at Biden. She no longer watches FOX and her thoughts are kinder and more generous to others once again, but it was a close call. FOX is insidious. It captures the lonely, the all-day tv watchers. You and your dad were victims. I'm glad he saw the world through a clearer lens as he approached death, but I'm so sorry you lost those years with him.
your story gives me hope
This is my story too. The dad who taught me hard work and respect and who showed up for me every single time has lost the ability to discern who the bad guys are. None of us will discuss the hateful nonsense he sees on Fox all day with him. Rather than turn it off, or even consider that any of it might be wrong, he says “Well I guess we don’t have anything to talk about.” This has left my dad an isolated, depressed, and angry man in the middle off a family that loves him and wants to honor his sunset years. It is heartbreaking to all of us.
Willfull Ignorance is a growing epidemic in our country. Along with cognitive dissonance it is destroying opportunities for valuable discussion and and compromise.
Oh, Jess. I had the hardest time reading this - and typing this…. Because the tears flood my eyes. Your loss is so fresh. My mom passed nearly 12 years ago. But, I was lucky, because my only grandchild was born 6 weeks later. That helped me get through that first year. Yet, I don’t know if I will ever recover physically and mentally from her last 6 years. Alzheimer’s, a colostomy and a diaper, legally blind, and angry. I moved her from another state to my home. Then, her house was flooded. My siblings. Well, I cannot say our relationships survived it. I cared for my mother in my home for her last 6 years. I wasn’t able to work and the visiting nurse the last 2 years to assist with bathing+ was $96/hr due to the colostomy. I was so stressed I had a stroke. But still had to care for mom. Regardless of the hardships we went through… the moments when she was present were so precious… and heartbreaking as she wanted to know “where’s ___” and I didn’t want to tell her everyone she asked for was dead. There were also the nightmare moments… waking in a panic, taking her frustrations out on me physically (she reminded me size wise of Granny on the Beverly Hillbillies) - wiry but TOUGH.
Sorry this was so long.
My only surviving sibling is a raging MAGA. Our last get together/reunion was dinner after spreading ashes of another family member. I saw adult nieces and nephews and their families I hadn’t seen in over a decade.
Times have changed. We have to find a way to do better. But, it takes ALL of us.
Oh, friend. I read your entire response and I felt it! Bless you. Solidarity.
how loving and brave of you. You must have had some very tough times, but you survived and comforted by knowing that you did the right thing.
Kk
I lost my dad in January. My parents had just spent over a week at our house for the holidays. He wasn’t in the best health, so we spent a lot of time just sitting and talking, when he wasn’t chauffeuring my children all over town and spoiling them rotten. Our last political conversation that he halfheartedly attempted to drag me into was about how much a Big Mac costs in California now because Biden pushed to raise the minimum wage. Neither of us really wanted to be in the argument, the Republican in him just had to poke the socialist bear before they went home. I replied, “something something record corporate profits, what would you like me to make for dinner?” He said he’d order us all dinner from his favorite Italian restaurant in our city, and that was that. Less than two weeks later he got an infection that went septic and died.
I’m glad that neither of us decided to make it A Whole Big Thing™ like we did at least once every single time they visited. Maybe on some level we knew it would be the last time we saw each other outside of the intensive care unit he wouldn’t make it out of alive. But he wasted a lot of time in his adulthood being an Angry Man, and even more time apologizing for being an Angry Man. Maybe he realized probably a little too late that it just wasn’t worth it anymore.
Beautifully written, and heartbreakingly real. I'm so, so sorry your family suffered from such an insidious blight on our country. I have so many family members, coworkers who I used to like, that I simply cannot respect anymore. Because they choose fear and hate over decency and love. The saddest thing is that they're still wonderful, caring people in so many ways. But they're forever tainted by this single yet all-encompassing choice: they believe in trump no matter what. It's their choice, and it's terrible. But they are all in.
I had a lovely coworker who voted for trump in 2016. It was so hard looking at her afterwards. We shared a hotel room during a convention a few years later. When she told me that she regretted her vote, and was no longer a supporter of his? I broke down and fucking cried from relief. It was a small victory, but a victory nonetheless!
It's the small victories that we have, and I truly hope that you continue to get them, Jess. Thank you for sharing your story. I know your dad is so proud of you!
Thank you. I could have written this. Although my father was an abuser all my life. I tried so hard to have a relationship with him. After Trump got elected he told me, "you need to get back to your Republican roots." In time he belittled me and my children so much for our viewpoints that it wasn't worth a relationship with him. He is still alive and I haven't spoken to him in 5 years. I will not attend his funeral. I have no respect for someone like him.
I get this so much. Dad was always abusive, but it took me until my late 30s to realise it. He's gotten more right-wing and less compassionate with age, and I had to cut him off in my early 40s for a few years because he was so awful to me. I tried again 5y ago, but after a while on best behaviour he went right back to criticising everything I am, do and value. 4y NC. I have no idea who he is now, and he never seems to have known who I was.
He reaches out every so often, but I already gave him a second chance. He doesn't get a third. The last rupture was horrendous for me. He's 83 now. Occasionally I think about him dying... But he's not someone I can have in my life. I'm much happier and more stable without him. So tragic.
Great, heartbreaking piece. I think MAGA has destroyed relationships for many of us. My sister seems to be coming back a bit - I avoided calling her because her rants were so disturbing, but last time she just talked about the grandkids. It’s terrible what damage one man has facilitated. I’m afraid the divisions will outlive him, with all the people profiting from antivax and the like. Thank you for writing this, Jess.
I’m so sorry, Jess. I’ve lost both of my brothers and my father to the crazy. Nothing I can do but live my life and hope that they find their way out before it’s time for them to go. Your story is so heartbreaking.❤️
Solidarity in the pain, friend.
This comment is just not necessary . GTFU
Thank you for continuing to share all of your stories, Jess! I follow you on TikTok too and you have been a huge inspiration for me throughout this last year with everything you share.
I don’t have the same depth of story as you, but I understand the anguish that MAGA causes my own family. It hurts every day knowing that those you love have fallen for the lies of a movement that wants to hurt and destroy so many of us. It hits home every day and it causes pain and sadness every day.
This, just like every other message you put out, is so important - we have to do something and be something better. I can’t give up more family to this disease if there’s more that can be done to stop it!
Solidarity, friend.
This also happened to me, with my mother. She had COPD, was unhappy, and became addicted to Fox News at the beginning, but it became like a delusional system. Anyone who didn’t agree was out, including me. Thank you for writing about it, and all the great work you do for democracy.
My dad, a government employee his whole adult life, fell into the maga pit but was so angry about January 6 he changed his registration and stopped watching tv news. He was better for a year or so but is sliding back into maga and demonizing Dept Ed, higher ed (he was an engineer), government regulation (he has government retiree insurance & VA insurance & retirement benefits/disability from both agencies). This makes no sense to me, there is no logic, he hates the agencies that pay him the majority of his retirement & insurance costs and have allowed him his 40 years of retirement(he’s 93)? 🤦♀️ I’m tired of the rhetoric and the exhaustion I feel after spending time biting my tongue around him (and the rest of my family—but he affects me most). So I moved all the way across the country to escape the maga (a highly educated sister spouts qanon garbage in addition to maga). Very sad, but very much self preservation. I’ll be very sad when I lose him, but I imagine there will be a little relief and some anger (for other than maga reasons) might return. I feel for you, I’ve already had my dad 30 more years than you had yours and I’ve had time to let some of the old resentment and anger go. I can’t imagine how hard it is for you even now. 💔 I want to validate your anger and tell you it’s okay to have mixed feelings and that it’s okay to hold your appreciation for him and this sadness & anger in your heart at the same time. ((❤️))
Anything they have, it's easy for some people to take for granted as their right and thus neglect to understand. Then, you trash the system that's supporting you because you imagine you would have MORE if it wasn't for all those "undeserving" types.
Where does that hateful greed come from?
Men and their creation called "corporation" antithesis of everything female energy; death destruction, greed, the "corporation" can be organized under various laws to produce it.
The identity that rests on the idea they are somehow “better” than other people, and thus “deserve” all the money and power, which is how they measure “worth”. People who have NEVER lacked the resources to acquire ALL their needs find it very easy to imagine that poor people only lack necessities out of their “poor judgment”. I’ll never forget Mitt Romney trying to tell an audience of laid-off workers how he knew how they felt, he was once in a position that forced him to sell some assets at a less than optimal time, thus “losing” the maximum potential income from the investment! Of course, there was never any question of him actually losing anything, like his home or medical care…. but he really seemed to think that “losing a little potential profit” was exactly like losing all your income… and therefore your food, shelter, health, and security.
Beautifully written. And painful to read. I lost my best friend. I miss her everyday. She just couldn’t understand me. I go to a church that accepts gays, I protested with BLM after the Floyd murder, and I voted for Biden.
We were Republicans for many years together, but I just couldn’t tow the Party line anymore. And she could. And, as far as I know, still does.
But, the story you tell is not so much about Trump as it is about the influence of the right-wing talk show media. To use a great line from the Godfather: Trump is a pimp…it was the radio talk show hosts all along. Mark Levine, Seb Gorka, Sean Hannity, Laura Ingraham, Bill O’Reilly, Dennis Prager and many others across the country who have been filling the heads of their listeners with anti-immigrant, anti-Muslim, anti-leftist, anti-NATO, anti-WHO, anti-gay/trans rhetoric for decades. They found their guy in Trump. Trump parrots their messaging. He is their stooge.
Yes. More about media than Trump. He was just such an amazing fit for the political play of the day. A willing collaborator.
I’m so sorry that you lost a close friend over this. Perhaps there will be a reckoning in which she comes to terms with what, exactly, she was supposedly supporting.
Rush Limbaugh was on the air for years, had a huge following & talked a lot of conspiracy theories, hate the “other” people, he pushed Trump & every terrible thing he stood for. After he died I think a lot of his loyal listeners went to faux. I can't understand how anyone can believe the trash & lies FAUX puts out over the air. I guess with 10+ years of psyops on the internet & Qanon conspiracies brought to the USA by Mile Flynn & the GRU some who dont have the ability to use common sense & critical thinking are bound to believe the unbelievable. Particularly those that are very religious, go to church that tells them what to do, how to live, what to believe, how to vote & etc. are easy marks to manipulate & make sure they believe maga is the way & Trumps their “chosen” guy no matter what he has done, crimes he is indicted for, convicted of & the plans to do to the USA if he returns to the WH. It's terrifying.