A Pregnant Woman Cannot Finalize a Divorce in Missouri

Ask me how I know...

I am originally from Arkansas and was married at 18—no I was not pregnant, but this is the way many of us started life after high school in the south; with marriage. It was fairly common in the early 90s to meet someone in high school and marry them right out of high school. I felt no societal pressure to wait.

I was pregnant by 19 and delivered by 20. And, that’s where the problems started. You can imagine that young folks starting life so soon may have issues crop up and they did. I spent the next 16 years thinking on and off of a divorce, and in 2010, just after moving to Missouri, I filed for divorce.

This is where I learned of my place in society, at least in the Show Me State—I was a broodmare first, and a citizen second. Missouri law forbids a pregnant woman from finalizing a divorce. Even in the case of domestic violence. That law has been on the books since 1973—weird, the same year Roe was decided.

One of the very first questions my divorce attorney asked me was if I were currently pregnant. I wasn’t, but I was irritated and asked him why that would matter? He said “Good. Don’t get pregnant or you will have to push off the hearings in this state, and by the way, your ex would be the assumed father if you were to get pregnant.”

WHAT?

I tweeted about my story nearly two years ago and was called out by many folks—they thought I was lying. I even received a call from the Kansas City Star who quoted my tweet because it had garnered so much attention. A reporter did the research, and to her horror, she found out that I was telling the truth and that Missouri follows an archaic law that states that pregnant women may file for divorce, but they may not finalize it while gestating a pregnancy.

Now to the why? The reason many folks, mostly men, will tell you is that it is more convenient to settle custody after birth, but I don’t buy it. So many other states have figured it out, so I’m not sure why Missouri can’t, but I have a hunch: It is the war that the Missouri GOP has waged against women in the state.

Missouri was the first state to ban abortion after Roe fell. Our Attorney General at the time, now Missouri Senator, Eric Schmitt, couldn’t get in front of cameras quick enough to take away our rights. Missouri gun laws are so lax that domestic violence offenders can easily get their hands on a gun. When you add up these insane laws along with the decision to keep pregnant women from filing for divorce, you arrive at a pretty familiar place—women aren’t treated as full citizens.

Democratic Missouri State Representative Ashley Aune has filed a bill to allow pregnant Missourians to file and finalize a divorce, but she isn’t hopeful it will pass under the current makeup of the House. We live under a GOP supermajority and suffer the humiliations of abortion bans and gun violence and forced partnerships because of the supermajority.

One GOP State Senator, Denny Hoskins, even said, “Just because the husband and wife are not getting along, or irreconcilable differences, I would not consider that that would be a good reason to get divorced during a pregnancy.”

The Missouri GOP will not relent. They do not see women as full-citizens and have waged war against us for at least two decades. It’s enough and I hope that all women in this state, no matter political stripe, can see this for what it is.

Pregnant or not, women deserve rights and I can’t believe I had to type that out.

~Jess