The Comment Section...

Back to work 14 days postpartum and the absence of maternity leave in the US

Keep your legs closed.

You know there’s something called AFLAC.

If you can’t go six weeks without pay, you didn’t plan well.

You should have just quit your job and re-applied after you gave birth.

If you want time off, that’s your problem, not the government’s problem.

Welcome to my Twitter comment section, friend. I’d say pull up a chair, but I wouldn’t recommend hanging out here. Maybe have a drink ready if you stay more than a moment?

I’d definitely offer you a drink, and this little tidbit; the above comments were made on a Twitter thread in which I laid bare the reality of going back to work two weeks after delivering my first son in 1996. Almost every single one of those comments came from an account with “pro-life” in the bio.

My oldest oldest son and I in Altus, Arkansas, 1999.

This topic, and the Twitter thread, started after I researched Arkansas’s maternal mortality rate which is the highest in the nation. Arkansas is a GOP-dominated state, and the Governor, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, claims it is a “pro-life” state.

I have also been interested in the lack of paid maternity leave in the US and decided to tell the story of going back to work when my first baby was just 14 days old. I was just 20 years old.

Let me start by saying that I am what the Evangelical, pro-birth politicians want for women in this country. I was married at 18, right out of high school. I worked and went to school part-time. My then-husband worked full time as well.

I was pregnant by 19 and delivered a baby before I could legally buy alcohol. I did what so many young women in my little town did…what was expected. But, life isn’t easy and doing what is expected can leave you poor, isolated, and even mocked as I was in the comment section.

The birth of my oldest son was a window into the backroom of a country that demands an infant supply, but also refuses to adopt any policies to help folks become parents. A country that bans abortion and restricts birth-control, but refuses paid maternity leave or benefits.

I was fortunate to born in the 70s and a be young adult in the 90s, because we had access to abortion, even in Arkansas. We also had the massive stigma of abortion as Southern Baptists. But, it was an option and my pregnancy was not forced. I was a willing, if not brainwashed, participant.

Back to April, 1996…

My pregnancy was pretty terrible with Gestational Diabetes diagnosed during pregnancy. I worked as a cashier at Walmart during this time, which was a big improvement from Piggly Wiggly. I purchased health insurance, but as I soon found out, you had to buy a separate “pregnancy rider” and once I found that out, it was too late. Even with my husband and I working, we still qualified for Medicaid. He was a Sheriff’s Deputy and only 21 himself. His pay was 16K per year. I made $4.75/hour.

I delivered my son and was discharged from the hospital 22 hours later. I was at home with this tiny human another 13 days before I went back to my cashiering job. The first day back was a nightmare that has been permanently seared into my brain. It was one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had, and that’s saying a lot.

Warning: This part of the essay includes graphic descriptions of postpartum issues.

The morning I was due back, I fed my little baby and then got around for my shift. I nursed him because it was cheaper than formula, not because there was a big push for breastfeeding back in the day. I did have to buy my first can of formula the night before because I didn’t own a breast pump. I was prepared for a little bit of let-down and some leaks…I had no idea how bad it would be. Back then, the only thing I could find to help control leaks were small cotton nursing pads shoved in your bra. Lordy…that cotton was about to be put to the test.

The cotton pad failed the test. Miserably.

My Scots-Irish peasant genes kicked in, and it seems I produce enough milk for several babies— it didn’t matter if I was at work without even one baby to feed. The milk was coming and had nowhere to go except through my bra and my shirt, soaking me and eventually my Walmart vest. I was mortified.

I kept working through the mess as it wasn’t time for my break. I took my hair out of a ponytail and tried to cover my breasts as well as I could by strategically placing my hair over my chest. I was drenched by the time I got back to the breakroom.

Since I was also bleeding profusely, I went into the bathroom where I spent my entire 15 minute break. I was using a peri bottle because I had an episiotomy that was healing slowly. I was also wearing those classy hospital underwear with two thick maxi-pads tucked in for extra protection.

As I changed, I hit on an idea. I took a clean pad and tore it into two pieces and put the pieces into my bra. Voila! A way to soak up milk, but that still didn’t fix my wet shirt and vest.

I sat on the toilet crying while wringing my shirt into a paper towel from the bathroom dispenser. I had to stop crying every time a customer came in. I eventually had to leave because there were only two stalls and a line began to form.

It was a hard day. A no good day. And to top it off, my hormones were a mess postpartum, but I had to act like I wasn’t crying with each customer. I was in pain, I was a physical disaster, and I had to pretend that it was okay that I was working a seven-hour shift after delivering a baby 14 days earlier. I worked 36 hours that first week back.

This is America.

The U.S. is the only country among 41 nations that make up the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development and the European Union without a mandatory paid leave for new parents.

In fact, as of 2023, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, only about 27% of US civilian workers have access to paid leave.

I delivered my first son 28 years ago. That son now has children of his own and neither his wife, no he, were provided paid leave. Not much has changed in a generation.

I don’t know the answer to the problem of no paid maternity leave except to tell the stories. I don’t know what will make a difference to our elected lawmakers except to shove this information in their face through our stories. To make them listen…to maybe make them care.

I do know that there are many folks making laws who do not want the system to change…they want women at home. They want us uneducated and not voting as well. They want women barefoot and pregnant and would point to stories like mine and say, “See? Just stay home where it’s easier and where you are meant to be.”

This is not just a maternity leave issue. It’s a family leave issue.

No matter your situation, no matter your sex, whether you need paid leave for a child or for a parent or for a spouse, most of us will need leave at one point or another in our lives.

I think now is as good a time as any to demand paid family leave. In fact, it’s past time. The comment section be damned.

~Jess

Notes:

Forbes: How U.S. Family Leave Policies Can Catch Up With The Rest Of The World.