A Teacher Grades the Text Messages
The Kirk shooter's words
I was an English teacher for sixteen years. I have read thousands of narratives over the years. I taught all forms of writing — everything from informative writing to persuasive writing to narrative writing.
And that’s where I want to focus. Narratives. Telling a story.
With my background in teaching and grading narratives, I will grade the text messages released to the public by Utah police between Charlie Kirk’s alleged killer, Tyler Robinson, and his roommate.
First, you should read the writing Tyler Robinson allegedly wrote on the bullet casings he engraved for his victim, Charlie Kirk.
The bullet casings read:
“If you read this you are gay LMAO”
“Hey fascist! Catch! ↑ → ↓↓↓”
“notices, bulges, OWO, what’s this?”
This type of writing and speaking is referred to as “brain rot.” It’s the messy thinking of someone who lives in an online world and who strives to be ironic at all times — it isn’t clear writing or thinking. It’s meme culture. It’s written for a specific audience who will understand the references. It’s not coherent writing for anyone who is not terminally online in specific internet and gaming communities.
I will let you make your own conclusions about the writing on the shell casings and the text messages released by Utah police, but the grading rubric I will use includes points for a hook, voice/word choice, a reliable narrator, and a clear beginning, middle, and end (the narrative structure.)
I will not grade for grammar or punctuation. The total points possible for this short narrative will be 100.
The Utah police released statements saying these were Tyler’s first words texted to his roommate:
“drop what you are doing, look under my keyboard”
10/10 — Hook.
The hook definitely got the reader’s attention.
Here are two separate texts from the exchange after Robinson admitted to shooting Kirk without the slightest need to implicate himself.
“I am still ok my love, but am stuck in orem for a little while longer yet. Shouldn’t be long until I can come home, but I gotta grab my rifle still. To be honest I had hoped to keep this secret till I died of old age. I am sorry to involve you.”
“they grabbed some crazy old dude, then interrogated someone in similar clothing. I had planned to grab my rifle from my drop point shortly after, but most of that side of town got locked down. Its quiet, almost enough to get out, but theres one vehicle lingering.”
10/30 — Voice/Word Choice.
This exchange in dialogue seems like a wildly concocted way to tell a story of a shooting. The voice of the implicated shooter moves from an earlier time period to an attempt at current slang like, “some old dude.”
The phrases and words, “my love” and “vehicle” and “I had hoped to keep this secret till I died of old age” and “stuck in orem for a little while longer yet” do not ring authentic. They sound forced. They sound like a much older person — or an AI compilation.
I also find the word choice odd, as the narrator is forced to weave in details of the shooting to implicate himself without provocation. There are some clunky details in these two texts that feel out of place and obligatory.
The attempt at voice and word choice fell flat.
More from the text exchange narrative:
“I’m wishing I had circled back and grabbed it as soon as I got to my vehicle. … I’m worried what my old man would do if I didn’t bring back grandpas rifle … idek if it had a serial number, but it wouldn’t trace to me. I worry about prints I had to leave it in a bush where I changed outfits. didn’t have the ability or time to bring it with. … I might have to abandon it and hope they don’t find prints. how the fuck will I explain losing it to my old man. ...”
“only thing I left was the rifle wrapped in a towel”
“remember how I was engraving bullets? The fuckin messages are mostly a big meme, if I see notices bulge uwu” on fox new I might have a stroke alright im gonna have to leave it, that really fucking sucks. …”
5/30 — Reliable narrator
This is where things really fall apart in the narrative. The narrator is not at all believable — he is not trustworthy. He is not credible and reads as manipulative.
The narrator feels like he is purposely misleading his audience.
As a reader, I am not sure how the narrator divulges so much information to a roommate while he is actively running across a roof, jumping off a roof, hiding a rifle, changing his “outfit”, and worrying about fingerprints after shooting someone.
To go on and speak of where the weapon is and what it is wrapped in is wild. Why so many confessions from the narrator while he is still actively committing crimes?
The events seem disconnected from reality. Again…it feels forced.
But the biggest gaffe in this narrative lies in the line, “notices bulge uwu.”
That is not what Tyler Robinson engraved on the bullet casings. According to the FBI, he allegedly wrote, “notices, bulges, OWO,” on the casings.
That is clumsy misstep for the narrator and his reliability.
The term “OWO” is very different from “UWU.” The terms are different in spelling and pronunciation and what they mean to the internet/gaming community. There is no world in which the narrator would have confused those terms or misremembered what he had engraved on the bullet casings.
More from the exchange:
“Im gonna turn myself in willingly, one of my neighbors here is a deputy for the sheriff.”
“don’t talk to the media please. don’t take any interviews or make any comments. … if any police ask you questions ask for a lawyer and stay silent”
Narrative Structure/Beginning, Middle, and End. 22/30
The hook set the audience up for a grisly story. The author went on to explain the setting and the action. The beginning of the story was too short, though, and leaves the audience a little confused.
The middle of the narrative was informative, but a little too much so. The detailed admissions of guilt and premeditation were reinforced through several of the text messages and took up too much space in the narrative. The roommate character was never developed and had little space afforded in the story.
The end was abrupt. The narrator character decides to turn himself in without any other words from the roommate or without any thought discussed in the narrative. There was no foreshadowing, so the ending felt like a sudden decision for the audience. The conclusion was recognizable, but it was missing basic details.
The score for the short narrative is 47/100.
An F.
Teacher’s notes: The author needs to read more literature from young people to engage in this sort of storytelling. It is obvious to the intended audience that the writer struggled most with the reliability of the narrator and word choice and voice.
My advice is to start by researching online rhetoric and exchanges between younger people. Watch their videos to get the hang of acronyms and speech patterns/text lingo before attempting another narrative in this genre.
The narrative seems forced and inauthentic. Scripted.
A text exchange narrative is a difficult genre to write if the writer is not familiar with the modes of writing and speaking of the characters in the narrative — if they are not part of the generation or community they are attempting to write about.
But, what do I know…I’m just an old teacher.
~Jess
Are you saying that the government might be trying to mislead us with an embarrassingly and sloppily contrived narrative?
I read a critique of these messages last night that claimed no one from Gen Z uses elipses. I can't say if that's true, but the grade you gave is definitely correct.